In an ongoing effort to get more organized around here, it occurred to me that what we really need is an alphabetized page for all Columbus musical acts. I’m seeing now that some of my earlier efforts on this front were only creating more chaos. But, hey, at least they got the ball rolling.
The issue is, I’m not really sure it made much sense to review a specific album by its medium (CD, cassette, etc.) I guess having the item in my possession made for a decent organizing principle, to inspire me to tackle reviewing those, and that was about it. Not to mention I do have some limited C-bus vinyl to review, but can’t fathom a standalone post about that, and also have no idea how to handle future artifacts I might acquire. So it was cool, it was fun, but it’s time to get my house in order. I think having an alphabetized list of the musicians – along with rundowns, ratings, and/or whatever else I might cobble together – works better. For compilations, or for any other reason, if you want to read reviews of any CDs/cassettes depicted directly below, just click on the corresponding section of those images, and it should take you to the album in question.
And then here’s alphabetized list of all the acts featured on this page. Keep in mind this is by no means anywhere near a comprehensive overview. This is just what I’ve come up with in reponse to the onslaught of information flying at me on a daily basis, and my own chronic randomness. But yeah, you can click on the names in question to jump to their specific write-ups. Otherwise, feel free to keep on reading:
Thomas Jefferson Slave Apartments
8lb Pressure
Some good old fashioned early 2000s mainstream type metal, albeit with strong hooks and impressively smooth production for a local act.
The Awakening: Vol I (physical CD)
Alvin Choate
Diamond in the Night (album)
This is one of my more enjoyable recent finds, a local musician who blends jazz, funk, rock, blues and soul into his own unique concoction. He plays all the instruments, most of them on a simple old Yamaha keyboard. Something about instrumental music can really send your imagination racing, too, if it’s evocative enough, and for me his compositions paint some vivid mental landscapes.
On this follow-up set, Alvin delivers the goods again with his own distinct spin on modern jazz. This time around, however, he also features his surprisingly good voice on a few cuts, including my personal favorite, Time. Here’s where to get your copy now:
Special Delivery (CD)
For more about this dynamic, largely self-taught artist, please visit his dedicated page.
The Ark Band
Love Is What We Need (album)
This popular live group that has been winning over audiences since at least the late 90s, if not longer. An eclectic Caribbean tinged ensemble featuring keys and horns delivers energetic originals as well as tastefully chosen covers. The above album, from 2005, has one of their more popular selections in the form of the title track, and is otherwise a diverse mix as we’ve come to expect. Three dub versions of earlier cuts close out this eclectic set.
Randomly selected highlights: In July 2016 they played at Easton Town Center as part of the “Sounds on the Town” concert series. They also landed a song on the 1997 Comfest official CD. Among the other years, I know they also played Comfest in 2001.
Brass Band Of Columbus
Lead On!
This really is not my cup of tea. There’s a heavy reliance on Sousa marches on this tape, which might be considered “classics,” but are pretty durn cheesy if you ask me. It’s vaguely interesting to learn what the names are to a couple of old chestnuts that everyone can whistle in their sleep (like Washington Post March), but that’s about it.
Church of the Red Museum
Sparse, vaguely retro sounds with unique instrumentation. But usually quite catchy and featuring his-her dueling vocals much of the time a la Moldy Peaches or something. They released their self-titled album in 2006 and at that time, one key member worked in the deli at the same Wild Oats as me.
The Columbus Jazz Orchestra
Big Band, Swing, Blues & All That Jazz
Okay, now this is more like it. I hadn’t been crazy about that earlier brass band offering, and am glad this tape was included to help me isolate the reasons why. Individual horns (and woodwinds, et cetera) generally sound awesome to me, whereas a whole section of them is more like a mushy blob. Therefore jazz will always hold the edge over that big brass band business, to my ears, assuming a similar level of competence. And that’s just one point in its favor – there are also the drums, bass, piano, not to mention that I’m generally more a fan of these jazz compositions than big band standards to begin with. So yeah, this was an awesome collection and I would gladly throw it on again any day of the week. Probably my second favorite tape in the set, actually.
Parsing out the highlights is somewhat difficult because basically every track is killer. Really it comes down to which of these standards you consider your favorites, and then guaranteed, these guys hit it out of the park with their version here. The muted trumpet and mournful piano on ‘Round Midnight kick things off in fine fashion, and When Lights Are Low offers pretty much what the title suggests, slinky lounge jazz at its finest. Woody ‘N’ You surely has nothing to do with a former Buckeye football coach, though it’s quite enjoyable to pretend so. I do find I like the slower numbers better than more upbeat ones, but this is merely a personal preference.
Counterfeit Madison
Opposable Thumbs (CD)
Pick up the latest release from this soulful Columbus group with an amazing, powerful vocalist, Sharon Udoh. My favorite track, I Hope It’s Alright (found on the Spotify playlist in this here sidebar), has an old school, New Orleans jazz vibe about it…at least until she begins screaming f-bombs!
The Dolby Fuckers
This one was given to me at the door of a show nearly 20 years ago. And I’m sorry to report that, as far as I can recall, I never listened to the thing until just now. I actually don’t recall off the top of my head specifically who gave me the tape, or what band was playing – common sense might indicate that this was a Dolby Fuckers show, but I actually don’t think so. It seems like this was more a fun li’l side project for one of the musicians in some other band. Hopefully these details await excavation in my journals at some point, but we shall see.
Anyway, onto the matter at hand. First things first, the album art is beyond awesome (a sticker applied to the case itself, in case you can’t tell) and I’m guessing that these must have been created by hand, i.e. that every copy is unique? If not, then these are some mighty impressive looking photocopies for 2006. As for these mysterious symbols, it looks like a stab at some calligraphy of some sorts in a possibly self-invented language. Moving on to the tape itself, it seems clear that these two sides were distinguished from one another by dripping different colored paint upon each side. In other words, I can’t see any way whatsoever that each copy wouldn’t be totally unique:
So in other words, this is all some brilliant packaging and marketing. But I think you can see why I just sort of assumed this would be the epitome of homespun zaniness, musicially, and wasn’t really expecting much. Which is why it sat unplayed for an eternity. Firing this up for the first time proves to be a jarring experience, however, because this entire album is really, really good! As in, I wouldn’t get rid of a single track here. They’re pretty much all great.
Leadoff track Pattern Dykes makes it totally clear that they’ve listened to and absorbed their Guided By Voices (a likely inspiration for this project as a whole), but so what? This is one of the more credible knockoffs I’ve ever heard, and you could easily build an entire career around such. Fortunately for us, however, they have multiple other weapons in their arsenal.
Bucky Kentucky starts off with a little bit of a Flaming Lips meets early Pink Floyd kind of vibe, or really never abandons it, although it’s extremely catchy and there’s this really cool effect whereby the three different vocal parts in spots sound as though they’re coming from three different rooms. Angry Yung Man features a blistering guitar solo among other delights. Rekkids uses a plinky keyboard to tremendous effect. Then there are other what you might call more expected garage rock type offerings, such as Sharpshooter or The Theme or Centipedes, although even here on the latter track, there’s a tinny 1960s keyboard sound to keep you entertained. Flourishing The Bottom, meanwhile, has all your wistful lo-fi ballad bases covered. Then there’s Pagan Xmas, which introduces itself via some riffing that wouldn’t sound out of place on a vintage Rick Springfield or Sammy Hagar cut – though the remainder of the tune veers sharply into indie rock land:
If I had to pick one favorite from this album, that would probably be it. And fear not, kiddies, lest you worry about liner notes – oh yes, we have them, and handwritten ones to boot! And I am mighty thankful for these as well, for they are pure gold. A couple of the names sound vaguely familiar, but I don’t think I ever knew a Lee Andrew Keeler, who wrote most of these tunes. I’m not exactly surprised to see Kyle Sowash show up on one of the tracks. All in all I would say these are some extremely talented and clever people, whoever they are. The MySpace reference is also quite charming nowadays.
I always appreciate artifacts which provide more information while leading to still even more mysteries than before – and this one certainly qualifies. For one, I’m just dying the know now where all these different houses are, where the various tunes were recorded, the pieces of equipment and the stories behind them. But also, one final oddity is that there’s a bit of a Mountain Goats song (Jaipur) left behind on this tape, on the very end of the second side, after this album ends. I only know what this is because it didn’t sound like anything else, so I Shazamed it. In other words, it’s as though they recorded this album on some old blank tape that was lying around, which had already been previously used for something else. Nothing too remarkable there, we all did the same thing back in the day countless times…except it says they sent this material off to some dude in Brooklyn to have it mastered. So then, what, after this was done, they still dumped all the songs down to whatever random tapes they could scrounge up from everyone’s apartments and cars and so on, who knows how many copies of them? Did the Jaipur dub make it onto every cassette, or does this make mine unique?
Early Empire
In the name of full disclosure, I know these guys, and saw them play approximately 1.6 billion times back in the day. But as I’m always fond of saying, my friends have sure made it easier, whoever they are, by pretty much unfailingly delivering great music, every time out. Therefore I haven’t had to strain for compliments, because they are awesome. And Early Empire surely embody that as well as anyone.
My only complaint is that these guys didn’t do more. As is sadly often the case from bands of that era (anything before 2008-ish, really), their music is currently unavailable on the streaming services, the only CDs limited to what was pressed at the time. They released this five (actually six) track EP in 2005, Resolutions and a Gun, and that was that, although they had many more songs than this in their live set, and I know recorded some others, at some point along the line. My favorite is probably Simpleton, which gets off to this amazingly frenetic start and never really lets off the gas from there, even when slowing things down a smidgen in the middle.
Whatever the particulars, this is some relentlessly compelling modern rock, and I was able to find one official video, for Television Eyes, on YouTube. It’s fun trying to play spot-the-venue on there, although the cuts are so fast I wasn’t having much luck. Maybe you will fare a little better:
Earwig
Listening to these guys makes you realize what an absolute crapshoot the entire music industry is. Of course, everyone knows this…but the ones who magically punch through to massive success get to be smug, while everybody else comes off as bitter and jaded. Well, I don’t know anything about these dudes or their respective attitudes – but they certainly should have been a platinum act, as far as I’m concerned. Everything I’ve heard from these guys is positively killer. But for a starting point I might recommend 2006’s Center of the Earth CD which, despite its middle of the road title and somewhat forgettable cover artwork, is an amazing song collection. The unfamiliar can just hit play on track one, Used Kids, which memorably revolves around a dream bandleader Lizard McGee had about…Ron House…working at a 7-11. Whatever the case, the entire album is tremendously catchy and clever Americana at its finest. If this is your cup of tea (and I can’t imagine why it wouldn’t be, frankly), then by all means investigate further.
El Jesus De Magico
Inventive noise rock practioners with great hooks and surprisingly smooth vocals. They cranked out a few releases from 2007-09 before disbanding. Member Tony Allmon (I think that’s how he spelled his last name) worked at the same Wild Oats as me.
Goofy Guys
Veteran jokemeisters can nonetheless occasionally play their instruments with a semblance of chops. Here are some live improvs recorded in the basement at 1795 Gerrard Avenue:
Return Of Scallop Man (MP3 download)
Daddy Dawg (MP3 download)
Smoky Mountain Mother (MP3 download)
Green Sky Grey
Their 2nd album, Walking Blind, came out in 2000, and was reviewed in the 1/11/01 issue of The Other Paper.
Hot Pursuit
Safety Zone
Now we’re talking! This is much more like it. A band composed mostly of Columbus police officers, these cats could cook. While it might seem on the surface like dorky dad rock, I think that’s mostly due to the setting and the target audience: they were quite often playing for elementary students. Therefore had to yuk it up a bit as a result. And then slip in the positive, anti-drug messages where they could, although those are basically never a bad idea. If you saw them at some outdoor festival or something, playing for adults, however, I’m pretty sure you and you buddies would be looking at one another, impressed eyebrows raised, commenting favorably upon their chops.
So they bust out the occasional original (People Get Up) or maybe what amounts to a somewhat obscure, organizational cheer (the D.A.R.E. theme song, essentially). My tape warbles and slows down a little bit during the latter, actually, which somehow enhances this cut, lending it a vague vaporwave sound. Mostly, though, they are known as a cover band, and they deliver the goods in this regard. My favorite is Twist & Shout, in large part due to the intro where the cop on the mic tells these students to take it easy on their teachers, because they’re probably sore, due to “all the twistin and the dancin.” I thought I was going to piss myself the first time I heard this, from laughing so hard. And am still on the brink of doing so, during who knows how many repeat plays.
Even so, their versions of Locomotive and Johnny B. Goode remain the most popular, easily 2-3x anything else. Although you listening to Twist & Shout may change all that:
Back In School
Though the previous selection was highly enjoyable, I consider this a superior album overall. Even if I’ve never been a fan of the song, I expected their version of BTO’s Takin’ Care Of Business would prove most popular on here. It was even the leadoff cut, likely indicating that Hot Pursuit thought the same, too. However, I’m happy to report that Do Wah Diddy Diddy has thus far proven the fan favorite instead. As far as originals (I think, anyway) are concerned, Cruisin’ To The Radio is the best I’ve heard from them. But I think my top cut here is their take on Wipeout, during which their drummer is thoroughly kicking ass:
The cover is decent, as you can see, but not quite as iconic as Safety Zone‘s. Also, though the various schools are listed, where this live album was recorded, it doesn’t state which songs were captured in which school. The nerd/detective in me would really like to know this, for some reason. I could probably piece together some of it based upon vague clues in between-song chatter, if I dug deep enough. For the remainder, it’s going to take the help of you, faithful reader. Only YOU can help prevent incomplete liner notes!
House Of Cards
To be honest, I do not recall how and where I obtained this CD. For years I’d been thinking one of my brother’s friends gave it to me, but it turns out that this couldn’t be the case. Awhile back I was curious enough to throw this thing on, and then research a little bit more about the band, at which point I discovered they were from Columbus. So this could be some zany coincidence, and it’s remotely possible I picked this up elsewhere, but I’m guessing it was a freebie at a club or record store and then it somehow slipped my mind.
There’s not a ton of detail about them in the packaging, and none whatsoever on the Spotify profile. However I was able to find this bio info from their YouTube channel:
House of Cards was forged in the fiery wasteland of Columbus, Ohio. Featuring a huge mess of influences, realized as a sound combining the best aspects of electronica, post-rock, and pop, House of Cards maintained a pop sheen with huge choruses and hooks. House Of Cards is: Justin Neme (guitar, programming, girly-singing) – A penchant for arrogance, pomp, delay, tube screamers and p-90 pickups. John Price (vocals, megaphone) – He’s probably prettier than you, and more diabetic. Steve Neme (guitar, pedalboard of doom) – Worm bites fish. Dan Parker (drums) – 2 oz. Pantera 1 oz. Dave Matthews Band Dash Neil Diamond or Alice in Chains Mix gingerly, garnish with Mogwai or Hum. Served in a snifter. Bob Ward (bass) – Has no idea how to crowdsurf.
So it seems like these guys at least have a decent sense of humor. Regarding the music, this puts me into a muddy tug-of-war pit where I would consider it better than expected, as far as when I first hit the PLAY button on this CD, unsure what potential horrors might await. But on the flipside…while it’s professional sounding rock music, and these guys are certainly competent on their chosen instruments, some of these songs even have memorable hooks, all positives, it’s also somewhat middle of the road and not especially memorable.
Actually I think the real issue might be the vocals – competent and carrying a tune and so forth, yet kind of boring after awhile. Otherwise, the band does have some interesting ideas here and there, like some of the guitar riffage that erupts mid-verse, or synth flourishes and other unexpected breakdowns. My favorite tracks on here are back-to-back, Type 1 and Halfway There. If you like either one of these, then you might wish to investigate further. I do applaud them for keeping the flame alive, though, by uploading this stuff to the internet.
The Judas Cow
Though inactive now, there for a while in the mid-aughts, I would say these guys were my favorite local songwriters. Spearheaded by Kevin Spain (formerly of Silo The Huskie), they began as a trio before eventually adding a second guitarist. In either guise, though, these fellows delivered the goods.
To purchase either of these releases, please click on the album covers below.
If interested in learning more about this seminal though underrated band, by all means also check out their dedicated page.
Kevin Spain
As far as I know, Kevin hasn’t formally released any solo material. However, there for a while he was handing out this excellent, mostly acoustic CD he’d recorded with the help of Phil Minor and a couple of others here and there. Below are my favorite two tracks from that collection:
Inspired (MP3 download)
Weave (MP3 download)
And finally here’s a little bonus treat for you. This is an unreleased song he recently sent to me, which is unavailable anywhere else:“Window View” by Kevin Spain:
The Kyle Sowashes
Yeah Buddy!
Now this is something else that has also aged better than expected. I bought this CD at one of his shows back in ’08 and played it in my car the next day or so. And remember thinking at the time, “eh, that was alright…” To the extent I’ve even been somewhat dreading revieiwing this, because Kyle’s a nice guy, which left me wondering how I could dance around and parcel out some compliments. As it turns out, this isn’t necessary. Listening to it again today – which may be the first time I’ve done so, all the way through, since that first occasion – I find myself again wonderfully surprised. Would go as far as to say that this is a terrific album, one of the best on here.
Of course, sometimes these matters come down to where your head is at in the moment you hear something, while at others you have to give these albums a chance to grow on you. I think my impressions back then were inordinately colored by the opening line about Andre The Giant pointing his finger. That, alongside some plinky opening strains, had me already viewing this as some comedic rock effort. Also, if I recall correctly, a friend was riding around with me while listening to some of these tracks, and I’ve noticed that this tends to increase the snark factor, as you’re more likely to entertain yourselves smugly picking something apart. And make no mistake about it, the lyrics are often comical. Still, this is a far cry from some joke-y CD.
Sowash’s vocal approach mostly reminds me of Elvis Costello, which I’m sure he’s heard before, or for a more modern reference, there are certain elements here which make you think of AJR. More of a good, sloppy, indie rock style, though, albeit with these factors added into the mix. Yet the handclaps on Korea lead into a fairly scorching guitar solo, one of a few such turns on this album. My old pal Dan Bandman is cooking on the drum kit basically from start to finish, and on a track like My Resume, which might be Kyle’s best vocal performance, Sowash demonstrates an ability to really belt it out when he wants to.
This release only gets more varied and interesting from here, too. There are two versions of Yr Band Flaked Out On Me, and while the second one is a window rattling rocker, featuring Dan’s finest skin bashing on the album, I think I might like the first better, a subdued take with piano and bells. Free Ride – Reprise is a violin laden instrumental, right on the heels of its riotous forebear. Not one but two tracks reference Fleetwood Mac (Rumours and Tusk, naturally), as Sowash seems to save his more serious side for later in the disc, after you’ve gotten to know him a bit. In that spirit, closer Cutout Bin is my pick for the album’s high water mark, a touching midtempo tribute to this drunken college town, where he wonders about his destiny, and if he’s fated to be forgotten. Well, in that regard, I think we’re all in the same boat, buddy, so I wouldn’t sweat it.
Lions Of March
Scars Scatter (CD)
Lo-fi to say the least and mostly recorded in C-bus, from ’01 to ’03. Released August 2004. Music video for Trampled Under Foot is simply footage of a drive down I-71, here in town:
Lydia Loveless
This 2011 effort by favorite newly discovered artist was her 2nd album, and recorded in Grove City. If you like modern alternative country, this one should be right up your alley.
Tony Monaco
A New Generation: Paesanos on the New B3 (CD)
Fans of the classic jazz sound of a Hammond organ will love this, the Columbus legend’s debut disc. Also, you should definitely check out his website, http://www.b3monaco.com/, which has one of the coolest layouts of all time. He played Comfest in 2001, I think with his trio.
Monster Truck Five
Columbus, Ohio (CD)
Bonus points for the nifty cover, photoshopped onto the Tee-Jaye’s at Morse and High. A sign which only looks ancient because it is, incidentally, dating back to the Jerry’s Drive-In days.
Paper Airplane
– Othello
I had somehow stumbled onto and was already digging this album…and then happened to discover my old buddy Dan Bandman contributes quite a bit to it, on lead guitar mostly. When weird stuff like that happens, it’s kind of cool, and makes you think you were meant to discover something. But anyway, on to the actual music – it’s a really crisp, professional sounding effort of mostly uptempo rockers, and some clever touches here and there which you might not expect. Quite catchy throughout, too.
Patomik
I worked at the same Wild Oats as one of the guys involved with this project, briefly (he called himself Mikal Peace – comical because his fellow hostages in the deli said he was kind of a dick, would constantly fly off the handle at a moment’s notice). But, eh, I barely remember the guy, and don’t really care about any of that, at least not in the context of this page.
Regarding this disc, it’s half originals, half covers, and I must admit is marginally surprising from a competence standpoint. Having said that, I’m not exactly going to be listening to this puppy every day. If nothing else, however, the lyrics are sometimes a hoot – you are going to come away from this feeling that you have worked with this guy, too, or else someone extremely similar. This Peace character is what we might call the familiar old Righteously Indignant Disilluisioned Hippie. A sample:
John gave me the hope we could give peace a chance / And some psychotic reminded me just how screwed up we all are
Doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue, perhaps, but you have to admit it’s unforgettable. Or how about:
Life has became a great big reality show / Deal Or No Deal, can you survive on the music show? / Whatever happened to Taxi and Mary Tyler Moore?
Well, he can’t be the first to ponder these eternal questions, though it’s doubtful anyone ever framed them so poetically. Those selections are both parsed, in case you’re wondering, from track #2, otherwise known as Mother Mary Gave Birth to a Famous Son. Anyway, with lines like those, the covers as you might suspect are not nearly as entertaining. Mikal does put some impressive gusto into singing Folsom Prison Blues, but the slowed down pace doesn’t really cut it for me.
From a musical standpoint, though, you could pick pretty much any track at random, and it would give you an idea of what the disc as a whole sounds like, and some of the problems that are plaguing it. As you can tell from the liner notes, though three guitarists are present on every song, none of them are of the bass variety. Or if so, this is the least bassy sounding bass ever, as I listen to this on my wraparound, ear covering headphones. The drummer is listed as “Jed Zoomer,” but I’m actually wondering if it’s a machine – the beats are very robotic, and at most, if this is a human, he must be playing on electronic pads or something. What this reminds me of, in fact, is when two guys show up with acoustics and a programmed beat at open stage jam night, or maybe even playing over top of a karaoke track. You would consider them tolerable enough, not exactly making fools of themselves up there or anything, though you are quite thankful their set was limited to three short cuts. And definitely nobody you’d want to get trapped into a conversation with at the bar if going up for another beer.
Also, though I might be the last person who should get onto some soapbox preaching about quality, it’s true that these recording volumes went into the red pretty much without pause. Therefore the tracks have a crackly sound to them throughout. But who knows, maybe they considered this just a demo to showcase their talents and weren’t really concerned about particulars. And if the ultimate purpose of music is to entertain, then these cats have certainly succeeded, as you are not likely to be bored at any point during this odyssey. This is the most important consideration, isn’t it, compared against something like that House Of Cards album above: would you prefer something competent yet blah, versus uneven yet memorable? We would all hope for the best of both worlds, clearly, but if you can’t have that, then I know where I would place my money, and which disc I would be more likely to reach for again.
With that in mind, I would like to leave you with some final words of wisdom from Mikal Peace. Taken from Karma Everywhere, they are possibly the most profound meditations to be gleaned from this album:
Yeah I remember wakin’ up surrounded by potatoes / in the back of a refrigerated truck / yeah we had our sleeping cots and our coffee / but man we had obviously ran out of luck
And a little girl on a trike/ came riding down an empty fairway / it was 5:30 in Ionia Michigan/ it was a sunny, cool, breezy day
I took a mattress off and put it on the floor/ it felt a lot more comfortable that way / she was a waitress in a shithole restaurant / in a town where I grew up and tried to run away
you know you gotta keep puttin’ your boots on / and walkin’ through the mud to pick up the oranges / these goddamn floods are never gonna end! / and you better start lookin’ for a big boat…a big boat, my friend
The liner notes are slightly off, as the Johnny Cash track is actually #4 on the disc itself, I Walk in the Rain #5, the Eurythmics #6, Karma Everywhere #7. Origins of the coffee stains unknown, though I am perfectly fine with taking the blame for these.
Pretty Mighty Mighty
Known Comfest playing years: 2001. And now for a review of their CD Normal…
Normal
This one reminds me of the ’90s – in every good sense of that phrase. I guess that makes sense, considering it looks as though this is their only release that wasn’t released during that decade. They issued a couple albums then, came back ten years later (2009) with this one, and then evidently faded away one more. ‘Tis a shame, because this seven song effort is a blast of fresh, cool air.
These guys were highly regarded at the time, but that’s often a mixed bag. Sometimes the jaded music fan within you, knowing how many other hyped up bands around town ended up kind of sucking when you got around to them, grabs a disc like this, half expecting to play “contrarian” again when spinning it. But no, Normal is awesome, every song on here is great. Waves for example, once it kicks in, is tremendously catchy, like some forgotten jangle rock classic, and features a couple of violin parts that almost come across as electric guitar solos. Or at least I think that’s what happening there. That’s a nice representative track, overall, but also emblematic of the general sound, and the clever touches found throughout. For example the near opposite, some squealing guitars in Beacons and Markers that would pass as keyboards.
Blackjack Mastered might be my favorite, where the guitar riffage is so captivating it makes for the primary hook. Jon Chinn’s sweet vocals play off perfectly against this, here and pretty much everywhere. And meanwhile Neal Schmitt is not just the drummer, he also mastered the thing. This helps explain why the drums sound especially crisp, although the audio is uniformly great, everything is separated well.
Heaven Hates Me even winds things down like a proper meditative slow song from years gone by. I would say definitely give these fellows a spin if you’re even remotely curious about the best local rock from the late 2000s…or the 1990s, as you then absorb their earlier work. For now, here are a couple of the highlights from this one:
Red Wanting Blue
Not exactly my favorite outfit profiled here, but they’ve been around a long time and remain a popular live draw. They’ve even played on shows as prominent as Late Night With David Letterman. One weird thing to me is that they have curiously incomplete information online for a band that nonetheless obviously updates their information often and works hard to maintain an online presence – in other words, it’s almost as though they’re keeping the bio vague on purpose. Like commonly almost nothing resembling liner notes about what was recorded where, or even just saying they are based out of the “Midwest” instead of specifying actual locations, and so forth.
So you will actually have to dig elsewhere to learn much of substance. Though actually formed in Athens, OH in 1995 (unless it was 1996), they moved to Columbus a few years later. Their third album, Model Citizen, we know was recorded here at John Schwab Studios. So I’m going to run with a live version of Venus 55, originally from that album, as their featured track.
Salt Horse
The Best Of Times?
Having not listened to this in quite awhile, I couldn’t remember much about this album. But assumed it must be at least halfway decent, considering I borrowed it from the Grandview library at one point, then burned a copy. And this vague unease was further compounded in that I do recall watching them play in their early days and had mixed feelings about the group (in fact I wrote about such in Riots Of Passage, which was a less than glowing review, and now has me worried I might have mixed up a couple of their names as well).
But I’m happy to report that this is an extremely strong effort! Granted, my primary beef with them back then had been that their singer was making these weird faces in between his lines, like trying to be funny, which totally undermined the intensity of their music. And then was also stomping around on the stage in comedian mode, a variation of this theme. Yet those were probably just growing pains – my impression at the time was that he couldn’t bear to just stand there, was cracking under the pressure of attempting to play it straight – and anyway this has nothing to do with cranking a disc in the comfort of your home. By now (2001), though, they’ve had a few more years to refine their approach, improve their chops, and also presumably add some fresh tunes to the arsenal.
They plow through nearly every track at something approaching warp speed, although this is not metal. This is just some straightforward, bruising rock music, and the lead singer, whoever he is (I’m a little confused on this point, as every band member is listed on “vocals” as well as playing an instrument), has legitimately strong pipes. Messing With Me does bring things down a notch, with this nifty guitar part on the verses that sounds almost like someone plucking a centuries old harp. Lyrically, although Campus Riot Fight Song might sound like a party anthem, they’re actually railing against the prevalent “keggers and date rape” culture of this college scene – not just limited to OSU, of course, though one assumes this figures highly in the narrative, i.e. the mentality that has dudes setting couches on fire after the Buckeyes win their first game of the season 72-3 against Montana Tumbleweed State or whatever. A track like 351 meanwhile, finally does bring things down a notch, then near the end gives you a good idea about the shredding abilities possessed by one or more of these guitarists.
In summary, this is yet again an album that has fallen through the cracks in these modern times. It’s not available for streaming, and what’s worse, there’s some completely different band named Salt Horse on Spotify now. But I was able to find and download one dinky image of the cool, retro album cover (trust me, it’s better than viewing my chickenscratch on the burned disc, which was the backup plan) and have pasted a couple of highlights from YouTube. You can also of course find a used CD reasonably on Amazon and elsewhere.
Shaun Booker Dammit Band
A relatively new find for me, Shaun Booker AKA “The Empress of Beale Street,” is a member of the Columbus Blues Hall Of Fame and her band won the 2023 Columbus Blues Challenge award. I recently saw them deliver a phenomenal set at Eldorado’s, and Miss Booker herself has also been featured on an episode of the Columbus Local Podcast. In 2022, she lent her pipes alongside a number of other local legends to the benefit single below, in support of CRIS (Community Refugee & Immigration Services.) She’s the first singer on the track, and I think it turned out extremely well overall:
Superstar Rookie
Superstar Rookie were a noteworthy power pop/emo band from the late 1990s to early 2000s. They release one album, The Problem With Words, in 2000. Travis Tyo, Tony Bair, and Dave Copper eventually team up again in Early Empire a short while later, while Dan Bandman moves on to countless other projects, including The Handshake. For more please visit their dedicated page.
Teeth Of The Hydra
Greenland (CD)
iTunes has this categorized as “alternative,” which seems a bit wacky, to say the least. Make no mistake about it, this is skull pulverizing metal of the highest order. If in doubt as to which track you should spin first, picking by song title alone is not a bad strategy – The Garden of Rotten Teeth or Sawing Through The Ice are surely the champions in that department. Sadly, another of their classic cuts, Tokyo Under Martial Law, is not found on this album, but it’s still a killer set regardless.
They had more albums than this, but for some reason it’s the only release on Spotify. Ringleader Matt Miner is a friend of mine and worked at, you guessed it, the same Wild Oats as me. He was the receiving overlord. That place was quite the hotbed of talent, let me tell you.
The Top Heavies
Feed The Beast (CD)
These band names beginning with the word “The” are giving me fits to some extent. I feel like El Jesus De Magico would obviously go in the E section, even though this is the Spanish word for “the.” And yet it seems you’re supposed to ignore the “the” in English and slot a band name as if doing so. It’s therefore a relief when an entry like this more or less goes in the same region either way.
Thomas Jefferson Slave Apartments
Bait And Switch (CD)
SPIN magazine has rated this one of the “top 10 weirdest major label albums of the mid 90s.” Which might sound like a tiny niche, but it’s not – that was actually a strange era where the big boys were releasing all manner of adventurous stuff. Having said that, I don’t think this is that out there, it’s just uncompromising rock music. A group featuring notable locals Ron House, Bob Petric, Phil Parks and a couple of others, they also issued these other releases:
Straight To Video (follow up album)
You Lookin’ For Treble? (collection of older material released prior to major label signing; might actually be of most interest to Cbus historians)
No Old Guy Lo Fi Cry (final album)
I don’t know. These dudes are well regarded around town, and they certainly had their moments, but this one isn’t really doing it for me. Don’t Bathe is a little more muscular and memorable than the two tracks preceding it, with some interesting guitar work, though I’m not really digging the simplistic lyrics nor the caterwauling vocals any more here than elsewhere. This is a rock album, yep, it sure is, and therefore you’re going to have x number of people defending it, but I feel as though you could have picked up basically a carbon copy of this record twenty years earlier from countless other acts.
In a way, though, it’s somewhat of a relief to find something I’m not totally enamored with from this stack. From one of the “legends” of the scene, no less. One problem with reviewing a bunch of albums you personally purchased is that it leads to what we might call Accumulation Bias: of course you like it. That’s why you bought it. Or if buying it sight unseen (sound unheard?) then of course you are defending it, because you blew your hard earned money on it. This particular purchase, at Used Kids if I remember correctly, was the product of another similar phase to this one, where I was making an effort to check out bands I’d heard about, yet never listened to. I don’t recall liking it upon first blush any more than I am now, however. Also, lest you think I’m taking it easy on my good friends, though admittedly squirm inducing at times to rate their works, I had in fact for example completely forgotten Bandman was the drummer on that Sowash album above until after I’d just listened to it again and written about half the piece. No, I just don’t think this TJSA effort is a very original or remarkable one, and it’s not surprising to learn they broke up basically right after releasing it.
Flip A Switch does at least get off to an interesting beginning that you might even be generous and say anticipates Interpol or something, and rhymes the title with “son of a bitch” to semi-compelling effect. But then once again, House’s vocals, I’m sorry, just totally kill this thing. Treeline does at least veer away from first wave punk by instead imitating that whole second wave of rockabilly-punk type stuff. Internet Is Just Bad Pot is not just a great song name, though (even if never really elaborating upon this concept), it also rocks more than anything else on here. If forced to choose a high point, I’m going with that.
Times New Viking
Rip It Off
Speaking of context, I was not exactly blown away by this CD when I got it, either. But it’s assuming new luster in the wake of listening to that album above. Still, I have been vaguely planning a standalone article for years about Rip It Off, which was to be titled “Times New Viking: What Happened?” And let’s just say that headline might still be in play. This was kind of an inverse scenario to TJSA, where I caught Times New Viking one year at Comfest and was blown away by their set. Then went out and bought this disc at a later date, was disappointed to discover it contained almost none of that magic.
On one hand, I’m digging how staticky these tracks are, because it makes me feel a little less bad about my own crappy basement recordings. And this was even released by freaking Matador, to boot! It’s also like a fresh breeze off the shores of the Olentangy, on a warm spring day, how short these songs are. And the vocals are without question much more tolerable, hands down winners above, the shrillness of that No Old Guy monstrosity. In certain spots, melodies shine through the murk, despite their best efforts, like on The Wait – though it too feels shorter than even your standard Guided By Voices composition, its ending seemingly chopped off with a pair of scissors.
All I can figure is that they were going for some intentionally harsh and primitive sound on Rip It Off, because they were certainly a much better band than this. It had to have been some sort of calculated direction undertaken when recording these songs, although whether their idea or Matador’s or both is hard to say. I am wondering what kind of impact this album might have had on their once promising career, however, and if they’ve suffered any regrets as a result. They even managed to move to Merge after this one, somehow, for a final album, though seemingly giving up the ghost after that.
On a high note, the packaging is kind of cool, I guess. The album does seem to get a little weirder and better as it progresses, like Another Day is not at all a bad cut, and vaguely reminiscent of an obscurity from the ’60s. Otherwise, even a known fan of bizarro music like me considers half these cuts borderline unlistenable. Faces On Fire is probably the standout, and if you don’t like this, then it’s safe to say you can skip the entire album:
Triggahappy
Often billed as the first ska band in Columbus, Triggahappy formed in 1994 and stuck around until roughly the year 2000. Vocalist John Donahue and guitarist Jeff McKinney were coworkers at UDF who finally decided to join forces in a musical endeavor instead. In their earliest incarnations, they relied on keyboardist Haithi Yan to supply canned horn sections, but would eventually add real live horn players instead. They were a popular live draw, mostly around the campus region, and incorporated elements of many other genres into this basic ska backbone. Their 1997 Comfest performance of Get A Job made its way onto the official souvenir CD, and in 1999, they released a self-titled album, one which features original classic such as Steak And Eggs. Here’s a sampler:
Two Cow Garage
Please Turn The Gas Back On (CD)
Released in 2002, this is their debut album, the beginning of an illustrious career which has exceeded all expectations. These alt-country stalwarts continue to tour and record at a breakneck pace to this day.
Watershed
Three Chords and a Cloud of Dust (live) (CD) (1994)
vital live document not only recorded by one of Columbus’s most popular bands, but from a live gig at the Newport Music Hall, too. To read more about this group, please visit their dedicated page.
Star Vehicle ’98 (CD) (1998)
The More It Hurts, The More It Works (CD) (2002)
The Fifth Of July (CD) (2005)
Three Chords and a Cloud of Dust II (CD) (2007)
There is something very hilarious and weird about the Columbus music scene that I’ve never been able to quite figure out. It was this way at least as far back as the late 90s, and hasn’t really changed. Bands in extremely major cities, like NY and LA, don’t even act like this – but then at the opposite end of the spectrum, it’s not a clique-y little college town atmosphere, either. This is a phenomenon wholly unique to Columbus, in my experience.
The key word here is suspicious. Columbus musicians are very suspicious of your motivations for being into them. If you see a band playing out, or attempt to contact them, their first response is a highly skeptical Why? They will purse their lips and furrow their brows and ask who you are, again, and what are your credentials? Not all of them act this way, obviously, but a surprisingly large percentage always have.
I’ll give you one specific example of what I’m talking about. The numbers given here are 100% accurate. I stumbled onto a Cbus group I liked on Spotify, and their only album was a decade old. They had 10 monthly listeners and a total of 12 followers. Still had a website, though, so I contacted them on there, wondering if I could maybe email them a few questions to write up a little piece about this album. Two different band members emailed me back right away, but the gist of these exchanges was basically…who are you? What is the meaning of this? Why would you want to write about our album? I sent them a response and never heard from either person again.
You could say this is a humorous anomaly, but it’s not. This is exactly what I’m talking about. I feel like any LA band I’ve ever contacted would respond with a “yup, let’s do this,” within 5 minutes. An NYC band would have sent me this massive and really cool looking press package. And going in the other direction, at the slacker extreme, I realize there are probably boatloads of bands in places like Athens or Chapel Hill or whatever who would be too cool or too indie et cetera to even have their music on Spotify, maintain a website, you name it. Or not even bothering to reply in the first place, yes, that would make some sort of sense. But this attitude is nowhere on that spectrum. It’s off to the side somewhere, so distant it might as well sit on another planet.
If I had to summarize what I think is going on, the basic mindset seems to be, “well, we’re not surprised you are into us, mind you. It’s just that any day now, a ton of really important and cool people are going to get behind us and we are going to explode. We have to be careful who we allow to listen to our music, because it’s possible you might compromise this.”
It’s like, are you people insane? Call this a zany theory, but I think maybe I’ve spotted something in your analytics to explain why you have 12 followers after a decade.
There’s an even more telling example. Recently it occurred to me that I have this Columbus, Ohio playlist on Spotify with 70+ plus bands on it but that I’ve never bothered to follow most of them on Instagram. So I went through and found in the neighborhood of 50 with Instagram accounts, followed all of those. Then waited 3 weeks – at which point exactly zero followed me back.
Now, you could argue there are all sorts of different things which might explain this: these bands are too indifferent and never noticed; they think they’re too cool/big/whatever to have to trifle with the likes of mere mortals; they know who I am somehow and want to make a point about not being a fan; et cetera. But I don’t believe any of this stuff is the case, or at least not to any significant extent. There’s probably a little bit of anarchy in the ranks, sure, people not paying attention to their accounts. I could buy this. No doubt there are some who think they’ve crossed a certain plateau and therefore don’t need to suck up to us peasants. Yet out of all these bands, I think only one had the blue checkmark as far as being a certified major artist – and I wouldn’t exactly expect RJD2 to follow me back, anyway. So that’s probably not it. And finally let’s just say I’m not under any delusions that any of these people are familiar with my writing or anything else about me, either, and at any rate, this attitude was prevalent around town long before I’d published a word.
I really believe it is this: suspicion. Suspicion about who you are and why you are following them. I’ve been hanging in the shadows for years without saying anything, attempting to figure it out, but have to conclude at this point that there is nothing else to figure out. Things are exactly as they appear in this case. But it’s pretty damn strange, and while I would never claim to have all the answers, I think for most local artists, if you want to get anywhere with your music, you might want to rethink this stance. It’s just a suggestion.
Having said that, I’m a major nerd for this stuff. If you ever fell out of print and have an interest in getting this music back out there again, by all means hit me up. In whatever format possible (vinyl, CD, streaming, Youtube clips, etc), it would mean a great deal to me to help you reintroduce your works to the world. I’ve helped other musicians with such and am highly dedicated to the cause, as one of these weirdos who consider this stuff extremely important.
