I have spent a surprising amount of time in Eldorado’s Food & Spirits. Then again, it is surely the best bar located in this region, and has been for many years. Opened in 1994 by the mother/sister combo of Debbie and Nebbie, Eldorado’s used to bill itself as Columbus’s first ping pong bar. Oddly enough, however, despite spending untold hours here, I don’t recall any ping pong ever being played. Lots and lots o’ karaoke, however, which seemed to be their actual bread n’ butter. As a side note I should mention, in case you’re living the single life, us guys did fairly well here on the ladies front. Of course one of my friends did refer to this place as a “moped” bar (file under: slang, early 2000s) and that does indeed tell you quite a bit about it. Dubious travelers may wish to consult an urban dictionary if unfamiliar with this phrase.
Though we had been here a time or two before, the night where our heavy interest in Eldorado’s truly began would occur in March of 2000. I had just moved over to this side of town, to an apartment on Tamarack, from Upper Arlington. On many occasions where we went out barhopping, particularly if still visiting the old haunts in UA, returning home – usually by means of the timeworn zigzag Henderson -> High -> Morse route – Eldorado’s soon became an all but unavoidable pitstop at the halfway point.
My notes on this particular outing are a little on the skeletal side, but here’s the essence of what happened, a memorable occasion on a few different fronts. Out on the town with my good friends Damon and “Big” Paul Linville, at a time where those two have only recently revived their classic rock covers band Bedlam, we drift through here as our final stop for the night. Karaoke is in full swing, although this is just a coincidence, not exactly something on our radar – even though Bedlam just so happen to be on the lookout for a new lead singer (astute readers may notice they’d already just hired a new singer back in January. He didn’t last long).
As luck has it, although almost never spotting a singer who matches their style at these karaoke nights, they do stumble onto one here, Drew. He’s short and wiry and almost a dead ringer for a young Iggy Pop in many ways, including the same twitchy, manic energy. And we might be wrong, but unlike Iggy’s, Drew’s energy doesn’t seem drug incuded, rather that he was just born with this rock n’ roll fever inside of him, and can’t seem to shake it. Outgoing, and friendly, too, at least on this particular night, although the most crucial piece of the puzzle is the only one they really care about: yes, this dude can sing.
So after we all meet one another, they grab his phone number, which is just one of at least two and possibly three collected this very night, in the space of what has to be not much more than an hour. For me, it’s been a long day, which included a trip to the BMV, which itself alone is enough to justify our extended residency at Traditions, prior to arriving here. As such, I’m admittedly not quite as on top of things as usual, and am not really paying much attention to what my sidekicks are doing when we’re getting ready to leave – yet this accidentally turns into a sweet reminder that even in situations such as this, good things can occasionally fall right into your lap.
Damon and Paul are over by the bar, standing and talking to some girls. I’m chatting with someone else across the way, probably Drew, and am late to the party, only drifting over at last and meeting this trio of chicks after everyone else has already been chatting for awhile. It was very much a vibe where we were on our way out the door, but bumped into them at the last moment. Whatever the case, after a little bit of unfocused chatter, the redhead in the bunch starts telling us about this snake tattoo she has, and then shows us.
“I’ve got another one, too,” she says, with a playful, challenging laugh, “but you’d have to know me a lot better to see it.”
Damon perks right up and offers his trademark mischievous smile, stating that he would hope to make this happen, indeed. To which, for reasons I’m not sure of, because I really wasn’t hitting on her or expecting anything, was only making idle conversation, she leans in and whispers in my ear, “you’d have a better chance than he would.”
Uh, yeah, this is what you might call a “check, please!” type moment. Safe to say, I could not obtain her phone number fast enough. And so this is how I first met Connie. Damon, for his part, will also wind up pulling a similarly dimensioned blonde, Jessica, from this bar (very pretty, somewhat innocent looking faces; maybe just a wee bit heavy, but hey, they more than make up for it elsewhere), albeit at a later date, and Big Paul, if I’m not mistaken, though not quite remembering who he was talking to at closing time, I think he might have obtained her digits tonight. I will wind up seeing Connie’s other tattoo, yes, up close and on multiple occasions.
II.
The Drew situation doesn’t work out for those guys. He can deliver the goods performance-wise, but they don’t even get through one full practice before some major personality conflicts rear their head, and they show him the door. The last we see of him is at a different, accidentally stumbled into karaoke night, weeks or even months later, over at Rosie O’Grady’s. There, he’s extremely excited about possibly winning some $50 first prize, and telling us that he might start performing while covered in peanut butter. Doesn’t seem to hold a grudge about the hasty firing, though, not in the least bit.
Connie and Jessica will stick around considerably longer, although safely in the “side project” category for me and Damon, respectively. I do have a lot of fun with Connie, and she’s always pleasant to be around, is downright awesome in – ahem – certain other ways, although also admits to getting attached fairly early on. Therefore, unfortunately, this can only mean that I am forced to give her the heave ho. As for Damon and Jessica, they latch onto this extremely strange dynamic that lasts even longer where, though not seeing one another very often, and never actually screwing …she will show up at our apartment every so often, give him a blowjob, and then leave. And both are perfectly happy with this arrangement.
But anyway, regarding Connie, she was actually born in Ireland – and I have to admit, however silly, this was something of a selling point for me, the ability to tell myself well, if nothing else in life, you did manage to bang a native Irish chick. Our first night out together, after waiting about a week to call her…we agree to meet to Eldorado’s. And then the first night where we really kind of end up bonding, after already sleeping together once or twice but not really hanging out much together otherwise…yep, this also happens at Eldorado’s. It’s the result of another strange occurrence, the only time that Big Paul and I ever really ever somewhat exchanged any semi-heated words.
The scene started back at the apartment, where I truly was not feeling like doing anything whatsoever. Yet he kept twisting my arm, hellbent for cruising up to Eldorado’s and checking it out. Finally, after telling him no for an eternity, he promised we would stay for no more than two beers, and would even drive us up there, and I eventually relented on these conditions.
Well, it should be obvious where this went, at least up to a point. As luck would have it, on this very excursion, Linville is enjoying his best night with the ladies that I ever personally witness. Somehow he makes the acquaintance of this duo named Bridget and Eudara (don’t quote me on the spelling), who are good looking, and furthermore even join us in this back booth, will sit with us for the remainder of my time here. Possibly this is because Big Paul insists upon buying round after round for everyone.
After good naturedly extending my two beer limit, accepting in various configurations his offers of a beer, a shot, or a beer and a shot together, we are now on our sixth or seventh. Starting with the fourth, I’m getting on him with complete seriousness about how he said we would leave after two, and I want to go home. I didn’t wish to come here in the first place, have to be in at work early in the morning, et cetera. To these concerns, however, he’s laughing them off with a maniacal glint in his eye, theoretically agreeing with me that we will truly leave after this round…but then the next thing I know, here comes another one.
Though I am 100% serious, even Bridget and Eudara are laughing at the two of us, thoroughly riveted to this scene. Finally, he pulls this stunt one too many times and I announce, “fuck this,” as I get up from the table, walk on out of the bar. I begin walking up Morse, fully intent upon hiking all the way to Tamarack Blvd.
I don’t get very far, however, only somewhere around that first church on the left, when this mini van pulls up, at the far side of the road. I don’t recognize the driver, but some woman is shouting my name from the passenger seat – it’s Connie. She had witnessed the whole scene and left the bar to come get me. While I don’t recall whether I knew she was at Eldorado’s or not, I know for a fact we had not spoken at all that night. Not looking for anything serious, I was attempting to keep my distance from her on purpose.
Anyway, I accept their offer of a ride home. It’s funny the weird things you recall about certain situations, and regarding this one, I remember they were listening to some Tears For Fears CD with Raoul and the Kings of Spain on it, whether a compilation or the album itself. Which I will always think of, anytime I ever happen to hear that song again. At my apartment, Connie’s friend drops the two of us off, and she spends the night with me. From here on out, for the next couple of months, we will wind up hanging out together quite a bit.
III.
There is at least one other hilarious Eldorado’s episode from this era, just off the top of my head. By this juncture, Damon, Big Paul and I have been regulars at this establishment for quite some time. Then two of us will continue to be even after Big Paul moves back home. Though Drew thankfully is never glimpsed on these premises again, some of the other karaoke diehards are constant presences, virtually every time we’re here. On the plus side of the ledger, there’s this tall, bearded, somewhat older guy with a really deep but cool voice. He’s not only a great singer, he’s a really nice guy. At the opposite extreme, there’s this younger duo, a guy and a girl, who duet on that Evanescence monstrosity at least once per night. In fact by some cosmically unfortunate stroke of luck, it sure seems like they are singing this a high percentage of the time exactly when we are arriving at the bar – and yeah, hearing that song now always has the same effect on me as that Tears For Fears one does, locked into this specific time and place.
That song only came out a couple of years later, however, as the night in question happens much earlier than this. It’s a night where Damon and I are pushing for an Eldorado’s trip, while our third friend in the equation, “Little” Paul Radick, is fighting that choice all the way. He has never been a fan – though it seems like he’d only made maybe one visit prior to this – and isn’t about to change that assessment now. It’s a warm spring night and he’s pushing us instead for a voyage down to campus.
“You guys keep talking about moving back to campus, but then you’re too cool to hang out at any campus bars,” he says, “what kind of sense does that make?”
Whether due to this specific argument or a different one, his point of view does win the day. Or at least, the earlier portions of the day. For though the three of us will sit for many hours on an outdoor patio on campus, polishing off ten pitchers of Killian’s (yes, you read that correctly), I keep talking about how we’re “supposed to meet these girls” at Eldorado’s. In reality, no such definite plans exist. All I’m really thinking about is that it seems like there’s a good chance Bridget and Eudara will be there, and I hope that they are. Whatever the case, we are eventually able to convince Paul to stop by there on our way home.
As it turns out, the hoped for ladies are not present. However, Connie and her roommate are here – not a bad consolation prize by any means. Still, what this night is mostly remembered for is that Damon had already passed out in the backseat, never even came inside. Also that Paul kept walking around inside the place, bitching endlessly about it.
“Why’s it so fucking dark in here? This place sucks,” he keeps saying, or variations thereof.
I find the whole thing too hilarious to mention that this is due, in part, to the fact that he still has his sunglasses on.
With coincidentally just one seat available in my car, Connie again rides home with me, as her roommate leaves alone. Back at the apartment, stirring at last, Damon sees her and slurs, “Hey, I remember you…you’re the girl with the tattoo, right?”
Year 2000 Events Calendar
Every Thu & Sun (as of May) – Karaoke
May 4 – One such karaoke night. Damon and I swing through here after exhausting a number of other potential options. Part of the reason we were somewhat avoiding the place is that we know what we’re likely to run into here. And are just maybe trying to branch out in life – or at the very least, are definitely not trying to get tied down with these chicks. But in short order it’s confirmed that my and his respective Eldorado’s women, Connie and Jessica, are indeed here, and they probably haven’t failed to notice our arrival as well, even though we’ve grabbed the most remote two bar stools available, far, far removed from the main traffic lanes.
“Is that that girl you’re banging?” he asks, when Connie walks by.
“Yeah,” I sigh.
“Do you two still get along and everything?”
“Yeah, whenever I feel like calling her,” I joke.
As for Jessica, she’d called him at work out of the blue and asked him if he wanted to go on a date this Saturday. He said okay, but is now suffering some second thoughts, wondering if he should back out of it.
“This was stupid. We shouldn’t even have come here,” he groans.
“Ah, take one for the team,” I tell him, “she’s got hot friends.”
“The only reason I’m even going through with it is because I hate canceling on people,” he explains, unmoved by my whole team spirit speech.
Connie springs a sneak attack on me, before we’ve ever even spoken tonight. I feel someone plant a light kiss on my neck and turn around to see her standing there. She looks pretty good, too, in a shiny silver blouse and matching pants, more makeup than I’ve seen her wear before.
“I just came over to say hi,” she tells me.
“You remember this guy?” I ask her, pointing to Damon, “he was passed out in my car last Thursday.”
“Of course I remember him,” she says with a smile, as they are only formally introduced right now.
Connie says she’s been on a much needed vacation since Monday. Asks what we’ve been up to, and I tell her, “nothing much. These are our first beers tonight, believe it or not…well, since we left the house, anyway.”
She temporarily retreats to go sit with her roommate again, at the other side of the bar. I’m trying to convince Damon he should get with the roomate, but he says she looks like she’s in her 40s and he thinks he’ll pass; I assure him she is definitely not that old, and that I’d actually seen her in a dress before one night and she looked fairly hot.
“I can see that, I guess,” he concedes.
Jessica’s mighty drunk and only comes over at the end, to say that she’s leaving. With her are the hot, tall friend with sandy hair, Lori, and then the bitchy, shorter brunette, who thinks she’s all that, Amanda. We’ve met both of them before, but Jessica reintroduces us all anyway. Amanda is wearing overalls, has died her hair reddish and won’t even acknowledge our presence, however. After they split, Damon and I concur that the funny thing about this is that Lori is actually hotter, despite Amanda’s attitude.
5/31, 6/2, 6/7 – DJ Karen Vowell
5/26 & 27 – The Columbus Band
6/3 – the Boogie Men
5/29, 6/5 – drum circle
Year 2004 Events Calendar
1/24 – Shotgun Jack Band
Every Wed & Fri – DJ Karen Vowell
Every Thu & Sun – karaoke
According to their ads, circa 2004 they were also featuring $2.25 Long Islands every Thursday. A real bargain at the time, let me tell you!
