Another year, another spectacular crash and burn. By now it’s not exactly a seismic event for you to stumble onto one more article lamenting how this season has gone. However, unlike most pieces you’ve probably read – or at least most articles from a Columbus-leaning source – let me state for the record that I have never been a huge fan of this program. And at the risk of alienating half my readers (all…dozens and dozens of them) I would like to add that the primary reason for this is because their fan base is so ridiculous and annoying.
Of course, even my own in-town friends (and plenty out of town) have always considered me a heretic for admitting this. And I get it, sports are a fun diversion, and you should support your local athletes, et cetera et cetera, all of which is true. But for a large swath of the populace, their rabid devotion to this football program extends way beyond “diversion” and merely supporting the home team, into something they are foaming at the mouth about year round. For a season that lasts, what, something like 3 months and 11 games? It gets to be a bit much.
There is also one other weird angle here that I would like to address. As far as I can think of, the only other fanbase that acts in the manner I’m about to describe would be maybe the Dallas Cowboys’ backers. So already, with this fact alone, you’re not in the best of company – and even Cowboys fans have somewhat mellowed out with this attitude in recent years. But okay, the followers of most sports teams fall into one of two categories. Either you are boasting about how many titles your team has won…or you are commiserating about how long it has been since your team has won. Well, I suppose there is a third camp, those of the scrappy underdogs who have recently won a title, and therefore everyone is happy.
However you slice it, though, Buckeye Football fanatics fall into none of these camps. Instead, by whatever bizarre chains of logic have led them to think to this way, your typical OSU football zealot will ACT as though they win national titles left and right…despite almost never doing so. It’s a thoroughly baffling phenomenon. In the past fifty years, they have won the title three times. So this puts them slightly ahead of the Kansas City Royals in the universal dominance category. Which is fine – but you are not the New York Yankees, folks.
It’s even more ridiculous when you consider that, in my opinion, the college football system is much more rigged than the major professional sports are. The top ten or so schools already have a leg up and will therefore continue to attract most of the best high school talent. This allows them to perpetuate this self fulfilling feedback loop, year in and year out. The big teams play the other big teams…then, regardless of who wins or loses, are given preferential treatment come playoff time over “strength of schedule.” And they retain their big dog status in recruiting the next class, and on and on and on. It would take twenty straight years of catastrophic, Cleveland Browns level ineptitude to unravel some of these quote unquote top programs.
Based on the evidence, I think any rational, level headed person might look at the OSU football results of the past four decades or so, and conclude that this has been a gigantic bust. Actually, that is what I’m saying: this program has been the biggest bust, in all of college football, for decades upon decades now. Despite its enormous recruiting pull, the most national press attention of any school, and what I would wager has to be one of the most profitable operations in the game, they still keep coming up short over and over again. This is without even getting into some of the outrageous sideline scandals, and also what you might say has been some charitable decisions from the playoff forming committees. But somehow, this information has just not transmitted to the Scarlet and Grey Fever riddled zombies.
I know this year’s playoff loss was an especially painful nailbiter, but still, they were lucky to have made it that far. This program has been given every break to grease the skids for its success, yet has consistently come up short anyway. Unless you are talking about what really matters, when you get right down to it, which is the money generated. But of course, the university itself would likely deny this was ever at the forefront of its thoughts. Sure. If pressed they would give lip service to athletics and competition and the great untapped potential of youth and so on and so forth, skating around the whole meal ticket angle presented by these collegiate sports. And in so doing, hope that you, the fan, conveniently forget about what they’re really playing for as well. Which I think works, by and large, as evidenced most recently by the reaction to this playoff loss – though insanely pumped up about the game beforehand, almost nobody I know has discussed it since. It all plays into this weird collective amnesia where Buckeye nation will continue acting as though they win titles constantly.
Having said that, I am a fan of the history of the football teams, and commonly find myself rooting for the players when they make it to the NFL. And when it’s been a disaster, this football team is usually if nothing else at least highly entertaining. Below I am going to sort out notable Buckeyes, past and present, alphabetically, based upon a few loose categories.
Personal Favorites
Cacchio, Chad: Among the more recent additions to my list, as much as you can call the year 2000 “recent.” But anyway every time I see or hear his name, I’m instantly drawn back to this memorable party in September of 2000, and watching him play. As a result, I will always think of this as The Chad Cacchio Game. And though this was his final year, became somewhat attuned to and followed his results from there. Glancing at his career overview now, I see that he played for them from 96-00, and enjoyed a fairly distinguished career, which included “academic all Big Ten” four times – not bad for a walk on! He even had to play for John Cooper the entire tour of duty, imagine that.
Since then, he has gone on to get a pair of degrees from OSU, first in business and then in dentistry. After which he opened up his own dental practice, on Lane Avenue. As soon as that went in and I drove past it, I instantly thought of that old game. And of course just had to look up and confirm, yep, this is the same guy.
George, Eddie: Number one on my list of all-time favorite Buckeyes football players. Just a class act guy, based upon everything I’ve known about him, to the extent I’m even willing to overlook that last season playing for the Cowboys. He won the Heisman in ’95 and, which I had totally forgotten about until researching this, was drafted by the Houston Oilers and played for them in their final season, before relocating to Nashville and becoming the Titans. We got to watch him compete in the Super Bowl in January 2000 – for my money, one of the best ever – and he later returned to OSU, after his playing days ended, to finish his degree. He would open a restaurant on south campus called 27 Grille, in honor of his jersey number that was eventually retired. Considering he cracked 10,000 rushing yards and holds a veritable cruiser ship full of Titans records, all without missing a game, I’m still astounded that he hasn’t been elected to the Hall Of Fame.
Ginn Jr., Ted: To this day, I can’t see his name without thinking of an OSU game where my buddy Matt Montanya, watching it on TV, keeps rooting him on whilst nonetheless mispronouncing his last name as “gin.” Which in turn always compels me to sing the chorus to that Kiss tune Cold Gin. Ted was a track star in his younger days and could have excelled at this as well, but chose football instead. He would go on to have an accomplished 14 year pro career, after graduating, and is the only guy in this category that I got to see play live in the NFL.
Glenn, Terry: I know he had his personal problems, but still, I was always rooting for him. Also could potentially get to “double dip” on this website in that he was actually born in Columbus, a rarity among those featured here. His biggest claim to fame is possibly that he caught Tom Brady’s first ever TD pass in the NFL. That fact alone should have him popping up in trivia games for roughly the next 3000 years. Glenn played in one Super Bowl, and was later with the Patriots during their first championship season, though they decided not to give him a ring. He would wind up crossing paths with Eddie George for that one season in Dallas.
Katzenmoyer, Andy: Andy here endured considerable ribbing during his OSU days, mostly due to the lightness of his class schedule. But he was drafted by the Patriots and spent 3 seasons with them, meaning that he and Glenn spent a few years together there. Like Terry, however, he was injured and did not play in Super Bowl XXXVI. Mainly I’m a fan now because, for reasons I can’t quite recall, I sent him a connection request one time on LinkedIn. Which he accepted.
Pace, Orlando: The Buckeyes were on a real roll in the late 90s with the draft picks, including this guy. Unlike everyone else featured here, however, including the criminally underrated George, Pace would go on to make the Hall Of Fame. He was also the #1 overall pick in the draft, taken by the Rams in 1997. After which he spent a dozen years with them, as part of their notorious “Greatest Show On Turf” defense, appearing in two Super Bowls and winning one.
On a personal note, we kept spotting him around town, too, shortly after his OSU career had wrapped. Alan, at the time one of my roommates, came home one day gushing that he’d just seen Pace at the DMV; in an even more amusing twist, right after the Bethel Road Kroger store opened, though I didn’t know it, he and former Buckeye coach John Cooper were on hand for an autograph signing session together. As a part-time employee there, I often felt out of the loop, and it wasn’t uncommon to not have the first clue about store happenings. So it transpired that I was hanging out behind the meat counter that day, when a dad approached with his young son in tow.
“Hey, can you tell me where to find Cooper and Pace?” he asked.
I, thinking that this must be the name of a law firm or something, and having just moved to Columbus not even two months ago, told him, “sorry, I’m not from around here.”
“Sorry, I’m not from around here,” he repeated, scoffing and shooting me disbelieving, halfway dirty looks as he whisked his son off to find help elsewhere. Only later would I learn what he was talking about.
Smith, Robert: Like Eddie George, I always thought he was a classy dude. Another running back, he got in and out, made his money and bolted for the softer pastures of a TV analyst instead. Smith played 8 seasons for the Vikings and could have kept going, considering he led the league in rushing his final season. I remember reading an article, though, where he explained he wanted to get out at the top of his game and without having suffered any major injuries. So hats off to him. At the time of his retirement, he was Minnesota’s all-time leading rusher. As far as personal anecdotes, I remember Bridgette telling me one night that she was at Bumpers on Bethel Road, and Robert Smith was there as well. Although at the time I clearly was not following his career too closely.
“What, the guy from The Cure?” I questioned.
“My brother said the same thing,” she marveled, then added, “no! Not the guy from The Cure! Robert Smith the football player, from the Buckeyes!”
Spielman, Chris: Out of everyone on this list, it’s possible Spielman has maintained the closest ties to the community. After his playing days ended – a long, decorated career in the pros, mostly with the Lions, where he became their all-time leader in tackles – he returned here to attempt coaching OSU (passed over in favor of Tressel) before eventually winning a consolation prize of sorts, a gig heading up the Arena League’s Columbus Destroyers. He and his former wife, the late Stefanie Spielman, were of course majorly involved in the community, too, primarily in their efforts to raise awareness and funding for cancer research.
The Rogues Gallery
Bellisari, Steve: mostly what he’s remembered for now, of course, was his DUI arrest while a QB for OSU, and subsequent stint in the clink. Compared to everyone else in this category, his offenses are pretty minor. But hey, you’ve got to establish a floor somewhere. After losing his starting job as a senior, thanks to the drunk driving episode, he was brought in late as a sub in the Outback Bowl, but concluded his Buckeye career by throwing a catastrophic interception. Somehow he was drafted by the Rams anyway (as a safety, but still) yet failed to appear in a single game.
Clarett, Maurice: football-wise, he really just had the one season – but what a season it was. As a freshman, he led the Buckeyes in rushing on their big national championship team of 2002, the program’s first title since Woody Hayes was stomping around on the sidelines. Then was booted off the team for personal issues in September of ’03 and never played for them again. By some miracle, like Steve Bellisari, he too was drafted (Broncos) yet never appeared in an NFL game.
And it’s only after this that the real trouble started, beginning with an incident on New Year’s Day 2006, where he robbed some people at gunpoint at the Opium Lounge. Then, before that case was ever wrapped up, he found himself in hot water again in August of that year, a police chase stemming from an illegal U-Turn. Once they caught up to him, cops found Clarett heavily armed and with an open bottle of vodka in his car. While spending a few years in prison, however, he was able to begin taking correspondence courses, and by all accounts has really turned his life around.
Schlicter, Art: if only that were true of this guy. His collegiate career was actually almost blemish free, surprisingly enough, apart maybe from that one infamous interception, which led to Woody Hayes’ firing over The Punch Felt ‘Round The World. But even back then, there were apparently some grumblings that he had a gambling problem, though somehow this didn’t raise any red flags even after he was spotted at Scioto Downs with coach Earle Bruce.
The Baltimore Colts took him as the fourth pick in the ’82 draft, which is basically about the last positive moment of his football career. In four years he failed to win a game as a starter, threw about four times as many picks as touchdowns, and blew every penny he had (as well as those belonging to others) on gambling and other weird schemes. Since that time gambling, theft, and drug charges have landed him in hot water repeatedly, including a ten year prison stint. You would need quite the index to catalog his offenses at this point.
Random Ongoing List of Many More Other Dudes
Bellisari, Greg: Linebacker who enjoyed a cup of coffee with the Buccaneers. Brother of that Greg fellow listed above.
Bosa, Joey: Attended OSU from 2013-15. Drafted 3rd overall by the Chargers in 2016 and picked up a Defensive Rookie of the Year award. Was most recently seen making a total ass of himself in a playoff loss to the Jaguars.
Bosa, Nick: Joey’s younger brother. His 49ers were in a playoff game earlier that same day, but won in convincing fashion. I have to imagine this hasn’t happened very often – brothers appearing in an NFL playoff game, on the same day, but for different teams. He attended OSU from 2016-18 and was taken 2nd overall.
Frey, Greg: Starting QB in the 80s who had some decent moments. The highest he ever rose professionally, as a player, was one season in the Arena League. But he’s enjoyed other successes, as an assistant coach for a couple local high schools, another gig coaching players on the side, and in more recent times as a football analyst on TV.
Germaine, Joe: This list is heavy on the quarterbacks, although then again that is the most famous position and these guys get the most press. It’s weird how many of these players crossed paths in the NFL there for awhile in the late 90s and early 00s. Buckeyes still get drafted by the boatload, of course, but they don’t all seem to wind up on the same team. In Germaine’s case, it’s interesting to note he was drafted by the Rams the same year (’99) that they decided instead to take a chance on some Kurt Warner guy. Joe got into a few games as a backup, though, and won a Super Bowl ring that year, alongside our old friend Orlando Pace. Germaine hung around the NFL for six years, then moved on to the Arena League for a spell.
Griffin, Archie: Truly a local legend, all the more so in that he was also born in Columbus. Still the only ever 2 time Heisman winner, in ’74 and ’75. He had a decent if somewhat underwhelming 7 year career with the Bengals, playing in one Super Bowl with them, and also wrapped things up with a year in the USFL. The Buckeyes retired his number (45) quite some time ago and he is of course in their Hall Of Fame. Oddly enough, I’m not entirely sure if I’ve met Archie or not – he was often found signing autographs around town (and probably still is), including multiple occasions at a Kroger where I worked. It seems like I would have made an effort at some point to drift by his table. But I honestly don’t remember ever doing so. I kind of lost interest in meeting celebrities somewhere along the line, because you’re not going to have a “real” conversation with them, and I don’t really care about the autograph. Of course, had I known I was going to start this website someday, I might have held a different opinion on these matters. That autograph would look pretty cool at the top of this page, for example.
Hoying, Bobby: I have memories of him playing for the Eagles, wasn’t aware he moved on to the Raiders after that. Even though he got to play in the AFC Championship game for them in 2000. An early 90s star for OSU, he’s high on the leaderboard for them in a few different all-time categories. As far as the NFL, eh, while there are a few highlights, on the downside, he apparently still holds the record for most completions in a season with a goose egg on the TDs.
Hubbard, Sam: Well now here’s another Bengal, a current one who was recently glimpsed running back a fumble for 98 yards, in a playoff win over the Ravens. Though still quite young, I think it’s safe to say that, as a defensive player, this will go down as the most famous moment of his career. After blocking a goal line charge, the ball popped loose and Sam here sprinted the distance with it. Though plainly giving it his all, he wasn’t exactly motoring, and yet no one from Baltimore caught up to him anyway. The missus and I were cracking up at the shots of him immediately afterwards on the sidelines, oxygen mask strapped to his face, as the announcers declared he wouldn’t catch his breath until Tuesday. Yeah, that seemed to pretty much sum it up. But raise your helmet to this guy, rising to the occasion in such epic fashion.
Krenzel, Craig: He will probably never have to pay for another beer in this town as long as he lives. With Craig at the helm, the 2002 squad won their first national title since Woody Hayes was menacing the sidelines, a feat they’ve still only accomplished once more in the 20 seasons since. As far as being fit for the NFL – not so much, with just a single season with the Bears to his credit. Then again these guys all have Wikipedia pages, so what do I know.
Tomczak, Mike: I actually remember this guy playing for OSU, as a little kid, from my dad watching the games. Probably because he had a somewhat funny sounding name, at least to this wee lad. And then he hung around the NFL for an absolute eternity, I recall (15 years, it turns out), with some huge moments. None larger, perhaps, than participating in the Chicago Bears’ infamous Super Bowl Shuffle video. Although yes, it’s true, he did get some playing time in their ’86 Super Bowl victory. Somehow that season with the Browns totally escaped my memory, though he did have that memorable resurgance with Pittsburgh to close out his career.
