University City Center was a memorable strip mall, located on Olentangy River Road where The City apartment complex is now. They began knocking that building down in 2018 and its replacement took maybe a couple years to complete. I actually had no idea this project was underway, until cruising past one night in December of 2018 and noticing it was a fenced off construction site back there. Off the top of my head, I know that the Kroger was there for an eternity, and pretty much every building fanning off to the right (north) was in place from at least the late 90s onward.
Yet most of the detached buildings in front, nearer the road, are in place, which reminds me for some reason of how you’ll drive through the country every once in a while and spot a crumbled, abandoned house where just one wall remains standing somehow. Considering they are depicted on the sign itself, we must include them as part of this strip mall as well. A number of these buildings are quite weathered by now themselves. Below is a rundown of various entities who called the UCC home during its spirited run. Since it seems you were most likely to arrive here from campus, we will start at the bottom, southern edge and work our way north through the addresses. These are all Olentangy River Road, aside from a couple notable exceptions I’ll get to at the bottom:
2781: it all depends on whether you want to include this sad little brick building, which I am inclined to do. Though now closed, it still stands here and was formerly a shop selling Buckeye paraphernalia for many a year. It was called Across The Field and they were in business from 2010 to 2022. Somewhat resembles a church, and may have been one in its earliest days. Immediately prior to Across The Field, though, it housed Tedrick & Associates (1999-07), Studio 501 Architects, Space Craft Architecture, Art Access, Williams Music Co, and Allen Church Organs. That was all from the 1990s onward. In more recent times, a food truck called Chicken & Tea has been known to haunt these grounds.
2785: From at least 1997 to 2000, something called My Shop Inc. was here, as owned by one Georgeann Mock. But I can’t claim to actually remember this business.
2823: Raising Cane’s. As far as I’m aware, the last new building erected before the main strip mall behind it was knocked down. You know the drill here: great food, pleasant atmosphere, friendly help and tons of OSU/Columbus artifacts adorning the walls, alongside other randomness.
2825: Was once a Citgo, is now a Sunoco. But has boasted the same manager (Khalid Liraqui) for as long as I’m able to track these things (going on 30 years) which presumably means the same owner as well. The most remarkable feature about this location was that, in the late 90s, they ran this promo on a certain day of the week, every week, where all three gasolines “flavors” were priced the same. This place would be positively afire with traffic on that day, people lined up in their vehicles as deeply as the parking lot would allow.
One such afternoon, I happened to be driving through here, and for some reason paid more attention than usual to my surroundings. It was then that I realized, at least on this day, that every single car was occupied by Asians. And I thought this was really cool, kind of somewhat touching – this was before the internet had blown up, so obviously it had become a word of mouth phenomenon, they had passed along this tip in some fashion throughout their community.
On another occasion (who knows how or why this stuff sticks in your head), I was riding around with Alan one day and he popped in here for gas. As we’re leaving, he remarks that he has a headache, then happens for some reason to connect this with the fact that he hasn’t consumed any alcohol yet that day. Then catches himself and jokes, “oh god…I hope I’m not already so bad off that I get headaches if I’m not drinking anything…” We were, like, 22 at the time or something.
2831: I honestly don’t remember a Dairy Queen being here, even though it was apparently in existence clear up until 2008. But, alas, beer was obviously more of a priority for us during those years, not so much ice cream. But anyway, it would have sat at the very southern edge of the strip mall. After DQ left the scene, a restaurant called Cafe Kabul then gave it a go, up until the wrecking ball arrived.
2835: Hair Happening until 2007. A little later became Ace Cash Express, then something named Smokin’ Buckeyes, finally El Jalapeno Mexican Grill.
2839: CNC 30 Minute Photo, incredibly enough, lasted clear up until 2006 before giving up the ghost. Then it became a Liberty Tax operation.
2843: Chalkie’s Billliards had the most significant heyday in this spot. In more recent times I know a trendy modern bowling alley/bar combo sprouted up where Chalkie’s was – although it must not have been that trendy or modern, i.e. not worth saving. And I can’t figure out what that was called, despite having been here on at least one occasion.
I see that something called Red Planet X was also here, though this appears to have possibly been a clothing store. Then finally Sun Spot Tanning Salon.
2855: Big Lots was here for an eternity, right up until the end.
2865: Now we bounce down to one of those separate buildings in front, to a McDonald’s which has cranked out the quarter pounders even longer, and continues to this day.
2867: back up to the main building, where a Swan Cleaners seems to have been the final occupant. They were around for at least a decade or so.
2869: Fortune Chinese Restaurant stuck around from the late 1990s, if not even earlier, until very nearly the end.
2871: Was once a moldering pit called Time Out Sports Bar. Then turned into the much more lively NYOH’s (pronounced nye-ohs) (the owners, if I recall correctly, moved from New York to Ohio.) and then finally E Buckeye Bar & Grill, which I don’t believe I ever frequented. Prior to all this, it was a Mammoth Video, though this was before my time.
2875: Something called Just For You from 2002-04, then later Sushi Ting Japanese Restaurant.
2885: Jo-Ann Fabrics gave this spot a go for quite some time, which means it must not have been just drunken college kids stomping around these grounds, but little old ladies as well. Come to think of it, this probably explains all the fedora sporting grandpas over at Time Out Sports Bar, who were huddled over their Scotches while the wives presumably shopped for yarn in here.
Well, then it became Momo 2, followed by Cadillac Booz (possibly where the crotchety old timers relocated? Just a guess, based upon the name), and finally Red Club.
2893: was a Great Clips for many years, once again up to or very close to the end of this strip mall.
2895: X O X Karaoke Bar from 2013-17
2901: First a Rite Aid, then a Family Dollar.
2913: Kroger held this down as basically the anchor tenant of University City Center for decades. A full-blown operation with bakery and deli, of course, and also a Huntington Bank mini-location inside. Notable as the site where many of us glimpsed a Coinstar machine for the first time. Which in turn surely became the most ever used Coinstar machine for roughly the same group of people.
Cary worked here, at the same time she was a hostess at Damon’s, and through her I got to know a few other employees as well. Prior to her arrival on the scene, though, I actually applied to work at this store, part-time, though they shipped my application up to the not quite open Bethel Road one instead. And I joined the original cast there. As a result, though, this has all become an especially interesting what if? type parallel universe thought experiment for me over the years. Certain aspects of my life – like the Cary experience – might have turned out remarkably similar anyway, while others would have been completely different.
It was also handy on the occasions we ran out of supplies at the restaurant. Which seemed to happen more often than a professional, theoretically profitable operation should ever allow. I know I personally was sent over here a handful of times with some cash, in order to buy them some emergency steaks, at full grocery store retail prices. And then there was exactly one memorable afternoon, where I showed up and our kindly manager Dave Weinle handed me a five dollar bill.
“What’s this for?” I asked.
He chuckled and told me to take a “leisurely stroll” down to the Kroger, use this to purchase some razor blades and shaving cream. Then put those instruments to use in the bathroom mirror before returning to action.
2931: Was a Life Uniform & Shoe Shop, followed by Famous Nails.
2933: Woody’s Sports Club called this home – as we patrons did, in turn – for a relative eternity. Although I have to admit, our final visit was highly depressing and I somewhat regret even coming here then. This was 2008 and the place was long past its prime, though hanging around until the bitter end. It would have been much better to hold exclusively onto memories of its golden era.
For quite some time, there was a framed photo montage in the foyer area, in between the zigzag of its two front doors. I knew a few people captured in that collection, and often debated just grabbing the thing somehow, when nobody was looking. And, once again, regret not doing so, but I just never had the nerve. If there is ever such a thing as a theft for a just cause, however, I think this might qualify. Maybe I’m wrong, but suspect this probably wound up in a dumpster, eventually, and where is the justice in that?
2937: This was a Subway franchise for eons. Our pal Jeremy Wendling worked here a bit in the late 90s. This dude named Garry Appleton owned the joint and he also ran some other business out of here in his spare time – Sigco Inc., whatever that may have been.
One night some guy left his car running in front of the store while he ran inside to place an order. Meanwhile, somebody else allegedly strolled out of Woody’s, half-ripped, and climbed behind the wheel, drove away. The cops apparently showed up at Woody’s and everyone said they soon determined that the culprit was this Michael guy, who had just started waiting tables at our Damon’s a few days earlier. We never saw him again, it goes without saying. Although I’ve been unable to verify this episode online in more recent times, so who knows.
2941: And now for the business bookending this lineup, the PNC Bank at the front, northeast corner. I applied for an account here when first moving to Columbus, yet they refused me on the grounds that I only had a state ID, but not a driver’s license. I.e. the exact same piece of identification, except for the driving part. This made absolutely no sense to me and they eventually called a manager over to intervene.
“Let me get this straight – you only open accounts for people who can drive?”
“Yes, that’s correct,” she said with a straight face.
I think basically they didn’t want to trifle with deadbeat youths, if at all possible. Nonetheless, though never venturing inside again, their external digital clock would prove quite useful to me for roughly the next year and a half – comparing it, against my watch, which comes in handy on the occasions where management at Damon’s would maybe try and get clever by adjusting their own time clocks. Claiming we were late, and trick us into showing up a minute or two earlier.
2943: Finally, back to the strip mall for the last couple businesses. Comprehensive Chiropractic was here up to 2004. Then, a Georgetti’s Pizza.
2945: Rick’s Beverage peddled its wares here, possibly with some slight name changes, for well over two decades. It appears at some point they added a check cashing and possibly even a U-Haul renting racket to their portfolio of offerings, too.
Honorable Mentions:
This is one final pair of businesses, lining the southern perimeter, that I feel must be included under this University City banner. Both Ackerman addresses, one still here and one long gone, though both represented crucial pieces of the comprehensive UCC experience:
Applebee’s – I probably visited this one more than any other Applebee’s, ever. This primarily due to a popular strategy when working doubles at Damon’s, in that many of us would drift over here in between, pound some drinks and possibly lunch before strolling back to work for our dinner shifts. Hey, the veterans were doing this long before I arrived on the scene, so it isn’t as though this was my big idea. I don’t recall Applebee’s employees reciprocating this stunt, ever, though, which probably just means they were a much more professional operation and strictly forbade such. Or else didn’t schedule their employees doubles like that, or else Applebee’s employees had no interest in visiting our dingy hole – take your pick.
As far as double agents go, my former colleague and “disciple” Kathleen is the only person I know who worked in both places. Although it seems highly likely that others attempted this move over the years – and if so, I’m highly curious to see the breakdown on which direction more traffic flowed. Up until this bit the dust in 2017, by which point the Damon’s had already been long, long long long gone.
Red Roof Inn – this remains an ideal, centrally located base of operations if visiting Columbus, or for that matter a local resident wishing to crash after barhopping. In my experience, it’s always been a reasonably priced and totally decent hotel option. Aside from all that, or should I say included with this, there are a couple memorable nights I can recall, which transpired at least in part on these grounds:
1) Melissa informs us that she and a bunch of her fellow ADPi sorority sisters are renting a room at the campus Red Roof Inn, for reasons unknown. Needless to say, once we hear of this, Damon, Alan, and I are all about joining forces with them. Exactly three of those chicks we vibe with, I would say, and they are with us as well: Melissa, the other Melissa, and Tonia. Aside from them, there’s some lame redhead, a lame heavy set girl (you may detect a trend here), and a few others that don’t make much of an impression. Plus two other guys – one of which, Stan, is dating Melissa P. these days. The other being the lame redhead’s younger brother.
“Oh McGathey, what happened to you?” Melissa P. says, with considerable sadness. I assume by this she means the year or so detour into a serious relationship with Jill, but don’t ask. Granted that was a previously unthinkable development, although then again she doesn’t have much room to talk considering the presence of this cheesy Stan guy.
And anyway it doesn’t much matter, because Tonia is fused to my hip now. I don’t quite know how this happened, but sometimes the very first occasion you meet someone, it isn’t so much that you “hit it off” extremely well, more like you have this idea about exactly what kind of shtick or approach will work with this chick. And every once in a while that turns out to be correct. She’s a slightly chubby blonde, wears braces even, thinks herself really hot shit indeed, is considered annoying by some…but has a pretty face and I’m not complaining. To anyone else, anyway. With her I’m just kind of breezy and distant and for some reason she eats this up.
When we show up, it’s immediately apparent that there’s not nearly enough beer for eleven people. We brought a 24 pack of Busch, but there’s very little alcohol on hand apart from that. Not to mention, everybody is kind of hungry already. Therefore, we take up a cash collection for more brew, and theoretically some pizza as well. Damon is trying to shmooze the other Melissa, who has curly, dark hair, wears glasses, decent body and face, seems really cool. Alan is attempting to work the magic with one or more of the others. In consideration of this, it’s determined that I will make the big supply run. Tonia wants to come with me, of course. Unfortunately however the redhead’s brother is following her around everywhere, drooling in her footsteps, and insists upon riding along in the back seat.
Our first pit stop is at Hounddog’s, although they are closed for some inexplicable reason. Then again it is a weeknight and after 11pm, so maybe that’s what they’re doing these days. We roll onward to the Big Bear, up the road on High, figure we’ll just get the beer as well as whatever grub we can rustle up here. Throughout Tonia keeps peppering me with questions, but I maintain the same dry, don’t-give-a-fuck routine as always, and she seems to find this the coolest, funniest, most interesting material ever. Don’t get me wrong – I’m not suffering from the delusion that any of this is hilarious or remarkable. Yet you have to remain in character anyway, and as long as I can maintain that, then she continues digging it.
If Paul were around, he would surely be miserable, though. And to some extent would have a point. Were it not for a couple of these fluke outliers, there would be no reason to have ever associated with these sisters. Really, I guess the most amazing aspect is that the other ones don’t torch our causes completely, which is often the case with these huge groups of girls where only a small percentage like you. It’s obviously not a problem if we’re with the smaller configurations of known allies – Melissa, Melissa, Tonia, maybe Melanie, in whatever varying combinations. Anything else has been a waste of time, though, if not an outright semi-disaster.
We tell ourselves in advance, hey, these girls are a little older now, maybe the other ones might take a little more kindly to us and our antics. Nope. And this includes nights like this where we are totally just playing it cool. In fact, our takes on these situations are that they are frequently the more ridiculous acting among us. See the girls drink a couple of cheap domestic beers and babble incoherently henceforth! See the girls (at least one per night, often more; tonight is admittedly on the low end) run off into the night crying over something (nothing)! See the girls insist we finally relent on playing Truth Or Dare, but only ever select Truth themselves, which is absurd considering none of them have done anything interesting to tell anyone about anyway!
Additionally, Melissa and Stan spend half the night locked in the bathroom, not to be seen again. Stan tells everyone with a broad grin, at one point, “Melissa gives great head,” which is presumably related to what they’re doing in there. But at least this counts as an interesting development, you could argue. Otherwise, in a room full of people, Tonia as usual lapses into total know it all mode, which is just something I’m going to have to learn to wait out or tolerate, assuming I have patience for this; the redhead’s brother continues striving to impress her, without success; these other whiny, wet blanket females, don’t change their trajectory one iota; and then there’s perhaps the only remaining salvation, the other Melissa, who remains really chill and cool. Damon seems to have that one locked up on his end, however.
In one of the exceptionally rare Dare turns, she does have to pull down my zipper with nothing but her teeth. Beyond this these young ladies seem mostly interested in comparing numbers, who has done what and how many times. Alan was crushing us at one point, but has been stuck at 18 for an eternity, thanks to his own recently ended monogamous relationship; in the wake of breaking up with his own girlfriend, meanwhile, this past year has seen Damon sail well beyond this figure, he says, and now tops 30; I’m able to dodge this question longer than most, but stick with the patented answer of 3, which nobody ever questions. I continue to believe this works better than the real figure and for certain much better than a bogus inflated one would. Not only that, but you have to know your audience, and in this crowd I’m definitely not convinced those large numbers are doing these guys any favors. They did after all notoriously kick that one chick out of the house for being too slutty – she was over at our apartment crying about it afterwards. And these girls all answer between zero and six themselves, as far as sexual partners. With one key exception, of course: the other Melissa.
It’s probably not a coincidence she digs Damon most of all. When we’re playing this game, she says she’s been with 12. That becomes a baker’s dozen by the end of the night, however. Those two eventually take off together, and we will learn of their exploits later. For now, Alan and I remain at the hotel, grinning and giving them a thumbs up as they leave. We have our own fish to try around here, with varying results.
2) I had rented a room here as my own HQ, having left town, but returning a year later to visit various people. This was the night of that final Woody’s visit, actually, which I planned out well in advance as seemingly the best place to conclude our full slate of adventures, considering it’s stumbling distance from this hotel. Not only that, but I also knew I would be calling my ex-girlfriend Heather when we got back to the room, though exceedingly nervous about this prospect. And am therefore drinking a wee bit more than usual. She keeps late hours, and this early AM one will be the best time for us to chat; this is an attempt to coordinate a reunion, but it’s been about five or six years, so who knows how any of this will go.
At this point, Damon is the last one left hanging out with me, though we met up with others earlier. The room has a spare bed, so he figures he may as well crash there too, then drive to work in the morning. Which surely helps amplify his alcohol consumption also. Not only that, but I’d already purchased some quality beer and stashed it in the fridge over there, to cover and any and all bases.
Well, Woody’s is a depressing ghost town, fallen considerably from its glory days, which isn’t helping matters any. Combine all this and I am in much more of a confessional streak than usual, and wind up telling him a couple things about which he had no clue. It’s been rainy out, and at closing time we are dodging puddles in traipsing across the lot, while continuing to chat. He asks me what Jamie was like in bed, which is funny to me because I was always under the impression that he had secretly banged her. But apparently not. In this funky mood I don’t mind divulging details, though, not at all.
Back at the room, I crack open a beer and dial a number I actually still somehow have committed to memory. A couple of my opening jokes bomb out somewhat miserably, but beyond that Heather and I have a fantastic conversation, one that stretches out beyond three hours. Damon is awake, kicking back in one of the beds and watching TV while listening for most of it. Even as this phone chat extends until 5:30 in the morning. She and I somehow skate around and technically don’t discuss one iota of our past together – instead it’s all about what’s happening now.
I tell her about Mom’s health problems and abrupt coarse correction into heavy drinking, which she has trouble believing. Then again, her mom is dead. And yet grandma Mary is still alive and well! She hasn’t talked to her sister in years, however, after they had a major falling out. I admit I felt like I had no choice but to leave town and move south, though am in this no man’s land right now where that doesn’t feel like home and neither does this, so I’ll probably just keep bouncing back and forth between the two for who knows how long. She’s been working for Victoria’s Secret, which I know Damon finds the most interesting aspect of this entire conversation – out at the Limited compound, but still. That could prove a fruitful association, ahem. So she’s filling me in on how things are going over there. And we make plans to meet later this week.
When I finally crash out, I must have my neck angled at some crazy angle on the pillow, because it is killing me for the entirety of the following day. Comparing notes later with Damon, he says he couldn’t sleep very well, ended up watching some Lenny Dykstra documentary before getting up and heading into work. But that he glanced across the room at me, before splitting, and thought to himself that it looked like my head was at an extremely uncomfortable angle on the pillow. So he’s not the least bit surprised to learn that it is killing me now.
