Columbus References In Popular Culture

This page is dedicated to fictional works which have either been set in or referenced dear old Columbus, or else nonfictional ones which mention our fair city, though not entirely set here (if interested in documents which were actually created here, and/or by C-bus residents, see my “C-bus Artifacts” tab instead). Plus any documents recorded by famous acts while on tour here, or if a local figure managed to land something on a major compilation of sorts. Many of these occurred when the city was even more obscure than it is now, and therefore felt all the more bizarre:

100% Fresh – Adam Sandler (stand up comedy special). This Netflix offering was filmed in part at the Schottenstein Center. I haven’t seen it but the one pun I’ve heard about calling this the “Schlongenstein Center” sounds pretty lame. Amazingly, enough, however, considering it came out in 2018, this received some fairly strong Rotten Tomato scores – although the weirdest aspect might be that Paul Thomas Anderson filmed part of it. Then again, that could explain the robust reviews.

Family Ties – (TV series). Unless I’m missing something, they don’t come right out of the gate declaring where this sitcom family lives. Having said that, you’re immediately aware that the series has a very Ohio-ish feel to it – someone involved with the show’s creation clearly must have been from here. Many of us thought it completely mindblowing that there was a girl named Jenny Keaton at our school. Elyse even kind of reminded me of my stepmom at the time. But I don’t actually remember anyone making a big deal of or for that matter even noticing at the time that this show was supposed to be set in this neck of the woods, probably due to this slow reveal.

As I begin binge watching the seasons, the first Ohio reference I notice at all doesn’t occur until episode 4. This older chick’s trying to seduce Alex and he’s attempting to cool her down with jokes about the Cleveland Indians (safe to say this was a suitably frosty topic circa 1982). And I don’t detect even an oblique mention of Columbus until the 6th episode, when one of Steven’s coworkers jokes about filming Woody Hayes’s house for half an hour. It’s a funny line on its own, but assumes a whole other surreal luster if you are actually watching the episodes in order and have no clue about their location.

Over time, it’s eventually established that Steven works at the Columbus PBS station. Though everyone in my family seemed to agree that Steven was the funniest character on the show, Alex became the breakout star and it probably explains why Michael J. Fox was the token celebrity here for Hands Across America. Rumors began to surface that the show’s creators had the Bexley area in mind when crafting this timeless family comedy, but, I don’t know, it doesn’t really look like Bexley to me. I’m thinking more like the older parts of Upper Arlington, or possibly Gahanna.

Other references of note:

Season 2, Episode 4 – Mallory receives a letter from the (fictional, as far as I know) Columbus Express newspaper saying she won this mother/daughter modeling contest, and will be featured in the Sunday supplement.

Season 2, Episode 12 – Steven says he hopes to catch the OSU-Iowa game on TV. This would have been the 1983 season. Just for entertainment value I looked up the result of this particular contest – the Buckeyes lost, 20-14, falling to a 2-1 record on the year. In the actual episode, OSU is down 16-12 on the final play of the game and this bratty kid Steven’s babysitting messes up his reception.

Season 2, Episode 14 – Tom Hanks guest stars for the 2nd time as Elyse’s brother. Considering that he’s a wee bit too fond of drink these days, the family convinces him to call AA. Upon doing so, he initially makes a weak wisecrack to the receptionist instead, about selling her a subscription to the Columbus Express.

Season 3, Episode 21 – Steven and Elyse are going on a date, and ask Alex to babysit the newborn. One of the emergency contacts they give Alex is Ohio Senator Howard Metzenbaum.

Season 4, Episode 22 – Alex is issued a ticket by “Columbus’s finest” for not coming to a complete stop on South High Street, he says, in front of Lazarus. Mallory rats him out and agrees with the officer, though Alex vows to fight it. Then, just a handful of clock ticks later, Steven asks Jennifer if she wants to hit Darby Creek Park to “shoot some baskets.” This onslaught of Columbus references is interesting to me, after an extended dry spell during season 3 and most of season 4 – it’s almost as though someone said, “hey, wait a second, wasn’t this show supposed to be set in Ohio or something?” after everyone involved with the series had kind of forgotten about it. Also, this Darby Creek business to me kind of rules out these rumors about Bexley. I’m definitely leaning more toward Upper Arlington or maybe even a dark horse candidate like Hilliard as the setting they were picturing for the Keatons.

Season 4, Episode 24 – Mallory has been studying so much to avoid flunking out that the Columbus Merchants’ Association sends a letter to the Keaton home. Retail sales have plummeted, citywide, since she hasn’t had time for shopping. Pure speculation on my part, but this could perhaps explain the plight of the Westland Mall.

Season 5, Episode 27 – Some snotty, out of town family members come visit the Keatons. When they offer to show these obnoxious relatives the sights and sounds of Columbus, Ohio, one cousin scoffs and retorts that this would probably take “two minutes.” In making this offer, Jennifer specifically names downtown, but then also the not-quite-accurate destinations of “Germantown” and “Ohio State Art Museum.”

I find this tendency to occasionally use correct names and occasionally make up others to be a bit strange. You could understand them not wanting to invoke an actual publication like The Columbus Dispatch, but there’s no trademark on a neighborhood, i.e. German Village. Then again you could argue they just couldn’t remember the exact name and didn’t care enough to look it up.

Season 6, Episode 3 – Mallory is stoked to land a job as advice columnist for the fictional (as far as I know) Columbus Shopper’s Guide.

Season 6, Episode 16 – This would be their Christmas episode of the 1987 season, and while it is titled Miracle In Columbus, there’s nothing particularly specific about this episode to place it here.

Season 6, Episode 18 – Ah, but here, now, we are mining perhaps a greater essence of what our city is all about. Mallory’s boyfriend Nick, an artist, glues together a random assortment of junk, and then titles his piece Spirit Of Columbus. After which of course it becomes inexplicably popular to the world at large.

Season 6, Episode 20 – At long last, more clues begin to emerge about their exact location, too. Steven makes a passing reference to their being “only 2 miles” outside of the Columbus school district. So this places them either in the suburbs, or some manner of zoning weirdness like Clinton Township.

Season 7, Episode 5 – When Jennifer attacks a poster of George Bush Sr. that Alex has hung in the living room, he threatens to report her to the authorities for “unlicensed dismantling of the Columbus White House.” Meanwhile, as they are arguing, Steven arrives on the scene, out of breath and announcing that he has returned from jogging at Darby Creek Park. Then immediately suffers a heart attack – although it’s unclear whether the jogging or the poster has caused this.

Season 7, Episode 25 – In the second to last episode, which is really part one of the finale, Alex lands a job in Manhattan. A semi-hysterical Elyse “helpfully” suggests that Alex can continue living at home, which leads him to crack that Columbus to Manhattan is a mighty long commute.

As far as I can tell, this concludes the specific Columbus area references. Although there is one additional clue provided in Season 7, Episode 7, regarding where they live. In a flashback scene  to when they first purchase the house, a very young Mallory cheers that they can see the mall from their front porch. Aha! I feel like this has considerably narrowed down the range.  The house must sit somewhere near where Broad Street and I-270 meet, within sight of the Westland Mall. Owing to Steven’s earlier comment about being just beyond the city school district, I’m going with a quiet residential street on the other side of the outerbelt. Dear readers, if any of you locate a viable candidate for this scenario, feel free to suggest a solution to this burning, timeless mystery in the comments box below.

Forensic Files – (TV show) The truly legendary “Just Sweats” case is featured in season 6, episode 7 of this long running series. A pair of scheming nimrods, John Hawkins and Gene Hanson, were running this Columbus based clothing operation and decide to fake Hanson’s death to get out of a major financial hole. You can also find this bungled murder plot featured on just about every other true crime series worth its salt, including America’s Most Wanted (Hawkins managed to flee the country for a number of years, was eventually found boating around Europe) and my own personal favorite, the short lived Murder By The Book, where famous authors discuss true cases which fascinated them – mystery writer Jonathan Kellerman picked this notorious crime for his episode.

And then in Season 11, episode 23, there’s another Columbus referencing case. Again the homicide itself occurs elsewhere, this time in a small Ohio town where a police officer murdered his wife. OSU’s audio analyst at the time (sorry, my shoddy notetaking seems to have omitted the name) helped crack this cold case by picking apart the 911 call.

Glamorous Trash – (podcast) Chelsea Devantez hosts this highly entertaining project, whereby she does nothing but review celebrity memoirs. On her January 6, 2023 episode, she welcomes guest star actress Debby Ryan, as the two of them discuss the Carrie Brownstein (Portlandia, Sleater-Kinney, etc) book. Ryan is actually extremely well spoken and insightful, which you wouldn’t necessarily have guessed if seeing her in who knows how many Disney shows that my daughter used to watch. Anyway, she also talks about living in Columbus and being married to a musician (drummer Josh Dun from Twenty One Pilots), and actually gets on this kick theorizing that Cbus is kind of the perfect sized town for fueling somebody’s imagination, just big enough but not too big, and a couple degrees removed from intense media scrutiny.

Gone: The Forgotten Women Of Ohio – (documentary series) Mostly excellent true crime show examines a recent string of murders/disappearances in nearby Chillicothe. For just one of the episodes, however, filmmaker Joe Berlinger and crew traipse up to Columbus to pursue a couple of flimsy leads. It feels less necessary and more like somebody said, “hey, we’re this close to Columbus – we should find a way to work it into our footage.”

As soon as that episode came on, and they showed one quick glimpse of Columbus, I half-joked to Erin, “looks like Parsons.” Then am cracking up when sure enough, this entire episode is based around Parsons Avenue. Not that the subject matter itself is comical, obviously. Holly Logan is one of the two local girls missing, whom they theorize might be connected to this case, and her baby daddy is interviewed right on Parsons.

Overall, however, aspects not directly related to the crime prove more interesting than this questionable sleuthing. For example they spend untold reels of film shaking down this mailman, whose real name is apparently Bobby Cincinnati, though this seems a waste of time at the outset. Otherwise, interviews with the locals, footage of the crew driving around town, and especially an in-depth examination of the drug problem around this area are far more valuable, from a historical perspective.

“Higher Education” – Gary Smith (magazine article). In this classic from the March 2001 issue of Sports Illustrated, the high school basketball team from little ol’ Berlin, Ohio brings its Amish/Mennonite squad to the capital city and captures the 1992 Division IV state title. It’s actually a serious piece and I’m not doing it justice with this blurb. But there are a few key paragraphs set in Columbus, detailing an impossible comeback against Lima Central Catholic in the semifinals.

Hillbilly Elegy – J.D. Vance (book): Somewhat surprisingly, I enjoyed this a lot less than expected. Having already seen the Netflix movie, I knew that the source material was potentially compelling. He seems like an okay guy and I feel like we even have some things in common. However, the writing style is quite lacking. Now, this is maybe quite a statement coming from someone like me who is solidly in the “published is better than perfect” camp. So I don’t tend to nitpick over someone’s style a whole lot. But it’s almost as though this whole thing were a magazine writing assignment, and he was sent to file an investigative report on…his own life. The result is a curiously detached approach that doesn’t really work for me.

The Columbus references amount to about 8 pages in the middle where he’s attending OSU. That he can breeze through his period earning a degree here in 8 pages tells you an awful lot about the book overall. He mentions working at the Ohio Statehouse in passing…and taking his sister to a Chipotle on campus (possibly the one next door to the Newport?) and this is seriously about the extent of the concrete details. Everything is flipped around backwards, in my mind, from what would have made this a more compelling read: the interesting bits are flown through, while the vague-isms are repeated on multiple occasions. Also, I’ve stared at the subtitle countless times – and again, far be it from me to quibble over a guy’s grammar – but I’m still not convinced it really makes any sense: A Memoir of a Family and Culture in Crisis. A memoir of a culture in crisis? If I’m wrong and this statement does actually make sense, then he’s still missing the mark anyway. It does clue you in to what he’s attempting here, which is some kind of overarching commentary on the state of America, filtered through some family history. Yet he’s kind of attempting to stretch in two different directions here, without reaching either of them. I wanted to like this, but it just didn’t work.

Influence – Robert Cialdini (book). A great nonfiction read if you’re trying to convince others to do your bidding. As it pertains to Columbus, however, I found only a pair of OSU references. On page 76, in the chapter “Commitment and Consistency,” he’s discussing hazing rituals gone awry, and just how this happens. One example concerns this pair of Ohio State freshmen who are locked in a frat house closet for days and drink their own urine to stay hydrated – I haven’t looked up this specific incident yet, but will definitely research it further when I have a chance.

And then on page 86 (same chapter), Cialdini discusses forming a company with three of his peers, to conduct an experiment on Introductory Psychology classes at OSU. The gist of this was determining the best method for getting students to agree to come in exceptionally early (7am) one day, for a special study on thinking processes. They discover it works far better to gain a commitment from the students, then to spring the specific hour upon them.

The Latest – (compact disc). This was a compilation album some cigarette company sent me. If I remember correctly, a bunch of us were down at Brewmaster’s Gate and signed up for the mailing list, just to get a free backpack. I was never a smoker but they did keep mailing coupons and other weird goodies such as this. One local band, Earwig, is featured on here. Drag is the tune and while it’s not their best, it’s catchy enough, and features that loping bass guitar sound that I think is somewhat of a Midwestern trademark. I like this picture of them in the booklet, though, incorporating their name into the side of this semi trailer:

Little Man Tate – (movie). While mostly filmed in Cincinnati, some Columbus footage is shot and makes the cut. Found among these scenes are the Wexner Center for the Arts, and downtown’s Ohio Theatre.

Muscles & Mayhem – (documentary) this Netflix production chronicles the rise and fall of the TV show American Gladiators. At one point during the height of its popularity, the gladiators went on a nationwide tour, and Columbus was one of their stops. In episodes 3 and 4 both, there’s footage of locals trying out for the show.

The New Detectives – (TV show) Season 9, Episode 10 “Murderous Attraction” covers the case of Robert Aeh, who claims his wife, Janet, shot herself. Detective Rankin is among those interviewed on the show, and eventually works to prove that Robert killed Janet after she ingested a bunch of sleeping pills.

Nintendo Quest – (documentary) Exactly the sort of thing you find yourself watching on Netflix at 2am, for background noise while reading or writing. The basic premise is that this guy is trying to acquire every original Nintendo game in 30 days. A couple of crucial scenes near the end involve The Warp Zone on Cemetery Road in Hilliard. This dude and his sidekick are desperate to find a copy of The Jetsons, one of the top five obscurities on their list. They buy Snow Brothers at some other shop, then come to The Warp Zone and make a trade for a copy of The Jetsons. 

Ohio – Stephen Markley (novel): With or without the subject matter specific to our state, I’m pretty sure I would be calling this a masterpiece. This is a long yet fast-moving, well written and often disturbing look at some kids in their twenties, in a northeastern Ohio town. Among the Columbus references are Franklin Park Conservatory (there’s a fictional – as far as I know – rehab facility across the street from here, in the novel, which gives some indication about the subject matter), and OSU, of course, and even the old Wyandot Lake amusement park, even though this book was released in 2018. So this guy really did his homework.

Our Towns – James and Deborah Fallows (nonfiction book): It’s kind of a murky, unformed premise, and I also found their writing style a little dull. But this husband and wife duo decide to fly themselves around, checking out what makes certain “small towns” in America tick. Of course even they admit it’s a bit ridiculous to refer to Columbus as a small town, although they usually don’t clarify what criteria made them choose which places, Columbus included. There’s a moderately informative chat with former mayor Michael Coleman, and the library director and a couple of other figures around town, but I wouldn’t really call this a highly engaging read.

Paranormal – Alice Cooper (album): This one offers a double dip on the Columbus connections. Or at least it would seem to – on the bonus live CD’s closing track, School’s Out, Alice introduces guitarist Tommy Henriksen as being “from Columbus Ohio,” though I can find no other mention of this anywhere. Presumably he would know, however. Either way, the live disc itself was recorded here, at a May 6, 2016 show.

Pearl Jam – Columbus Ohio August 21 2000 (album): Damon actually mailed this disc to me out of the blue recently, presumably to review on this site. This was from that whole series where they were releasing every show on the tour as a live album. They played at Polaris during this particular stop, and it’s as impressive a document as you would expect from these guys – all the more so in that the occasional mistake is left intact. In so doing they make these other acts who release “live” albums with studio overdubs (Kiss, Pink Floyd, etc) seem all the more lame, too. Clearly there would be no time to patch over this mountain of discs with studio overdubs anyway.

Still, most bands at this level are going to be able to deliver the goods live. If you’re a Pearl Jam fan, or even a rock fan who’s never experienced them live, this is as fine a sampler as any for testing the waters (I’ve heard 3-4 other discs from this series, and so far all have been about equal; curiously enough the one from the actual show I attended is my least favorite, probably because it’s tinkering with my memories of that night). It’s mostly uptempo stuff, with the occasional slower cut thrown in for a little change of pace. Nothing As It Seems really stands out, as far as these more chill numbers are concerned, for some amazing guitar work from Mike McCready.

So it’s the little human elements, in between the expected rocking out, that really win you over, and make this a much more interesting document. The first song song on the second disc is the excellent Insignificance, a catchy foot stomper from their most recent album, but somebody drops the ball about halfway through and the entire band lurches to a halt. The crowd cheers anyway, because they think the song’s over, and the group picks up the thread again a couple of seconds later as if nothing ever happened.

This is the only outright mistake I’ve caught after a couple of listens. Elsewhere you’ve got the expected occasional Eddie speeches to liven up and distinguish the proceedings, as well as the cover song they usually tack onto the end of Daughter – this changes from night to night – and Vedder’s seemingly making up new lyrics for Yellow Ledbetter here and there, every performance. Playing that one last has become a tradition for them, as has McCready’s occasional interjection of famous licks into his closing guitar solo for that song. This time around, he throws in the opening riffs from Van Halen’s Unchained, although it doesn’t sound like much of the crowd really noticed this.

Handily enough, most of Eddie’s philosophizing is isolated to its own track, Encore Break on the second disc. So you can safely skip past that one if ye like. He does offer the amusing insight here that “politics and beer go great together,” and that’s pretty much the highlight of his rant. Elsewhere, he compliments the crowd at one point, referring to them as “intellectuals,” and you even get a little weather commentary, when he observes at the conclusion of Once that Sonic Youth (the opening act) had played to a particularly gorgeous and memorable sunset.

As for the Daughter medley, it sounds for a second like they’re about to slip into their own song Why Go, but instead begin playing this Hold On cut (no, not the Wilson Phillips monstrosity) which I don’t recognize. A decent portion of the audience must be familiar with it, though, whoever originally does this – while possibly standard rock show chatter, Vedder commends them for being a “crowd full of music students.” Actually, you go into these things knowing there’s a little bit of b.s. involved, but don’t care so long as the band makes some effort at delivering a unique experience. On this score I would say Pearl Jam, as always, succeeds.

Permanent Midnight – Jerry Stahl (memoir): This is a thoroughly engrossing read on its own, as a well-known screenwriter documents his struggles with drug addiction. The Columbus parts all occur early in the book, and are fun for different reasons, as he chronicles his early days working for Hustler magazine (I had no idea it started here, until reading this) while living at a YMCA here in C-bus.

Point Break: Who among us can ever possibly forget that Keanu Reeves’s character, the immortal Johnny Utah, is a quarterback for Ohio State before blowing out his knee, and therefore joining the FBI?

“Rami Temporalis” – Gary A. Braunbeck (short story) – this happened to be the first story in a supernatural/horror anthology I picked up at a used book store, called From The Borderlands. According to the “About The Contributors” section, Braunbeck was a Columbus resident at the time of this paperback’s release. I would say his contribution, though a little bit longer than most, is only about average for this collection. But then again, what do I know – if you land a story in the same anthology as this guy named Stephen King, then you must be doing something right.

Ready Player One: The novel sets some of the action in Columbus, especially along High Street, but these references feel a little hokey and unnecessary. For the film version, Steven Spielberg decided to move the hero’s home to Columbus entirely, which might be arbitrary but is also less awkward. If I had to hazard a guess as to where The Stacks would be located, I’m going with Marble Cliff. Somewhere around that whole quarry area on McKinley Avenue.

Road Outside Columbus – O.A.R. (song). Of A Revolution are a curious case. The four original members formed this band and even released a couple of albums while still living in Maryland – and then all four of them moved here to attend OSU, adding a fifth member while doing so. They played out a ton while in school here, and were a popular draw, as I remember for example the girl who lived next door to us was majorly into them, she and all her friends. They were constantly going out to see this band play in bars all around town. Still, having said that, I don’t consider them a Columbus band. To my knowledge they never recorded any music here. I can see the argument both ways, but it feels more like an extended residency.

Road Outside Columbus has to be the best song I’ve heard from them. It’s a pleasant, catchy, Dave Matthews style jam from their 2003 album, In Between Now And Then. The subject matter is fairly obvious as Marc Roberge sings about having found his second home, though only living here a short while, even namechecking Riverside Drive and High Street in the process. And actually I think these lyrics even bolster my case that they are technically not a Columbus band, seem to be admitting as much themselves.

Roadshow – Neil Peart (nonfiction book): This really entertaining and in-depth document, written by the drummer for rock legends Rush, chronicles his decision to travel from show to show on the 2004 tour via motorcycle. He briefly mentions a show at Polaris, though no details are provided. Apparently has some family living just outside of Columbus, though, and he visits that Motorcycle Hall Of Fame in Pickerington.

The Simpsons – (TV series). Season 29’s Grampy Can You Hear Me episode is partially set at OSU. It mentions Brutus Buckeye and there’s a scene depicting the Oval.

“The Soul Is Not A Smithy” – David Foster Wallace (short story). In this tale from the Oblivion collection, a 4th grade teacher suffers a meltdown and takes hostages. I remember the kid narrating it mentions goofing around along the Olentangy River. Also that I was trying to decide where this fictional school would be located, based upon the vague descriptions, and figuring that it must be in Upper Arlington, somewhere around Reed Road.

Teachers – (movie). This inner city school drama was filmed entirely here in town. It’s an okay if somewhat cheesy flick mostly recommended to those interested in spotting landmarks around town, and/or Nick Nolte fans. The soundtrack is probably better.

Traffic – (movie). Some of the scenes were filmed in Columbus, I think all of them downtown. Back in their snarky, pre-Dispatch ownership days, The Other Paper ran a pretty comical piece detailing how Michael Douglas successfully avoided them while filming.

Unsolved Mysteries – (TV series) Episode 2 of season 9 delves into the Michael Swango case. The action kicks off with him as an intern at OSU Hospital, where patients begin dying at a suspiciously high rate. It will later emerge that he’s been poisoning them, though he’s already moved on before authorities connect the dots. He flees the country at one point but is eventually apprehended.

Vitale – Dick Vitale (memoir). OSU had never enjoyed much of a basketball program as of this book’s creation in the late 1980’s. Nonetheless, Dick predicts that freshly minted coach Gary Williams will elevate the Buckeyes to regular top ten threats and national title contenders. Williams lasts three seasons, displaying very little of this alleged prowess. 

World Poker Tour – any episode up until legendary co-host Mike Sexton’s death automatically includes a Cbus reference of sorts, considering he graduated from OSU. But local Shawn Cunix also final tabled at least two of the episodes I’ve seen, including a stacked season 10 event at Jacksonville, FL. Three of the six finalists were well-known poker pros, including the WPT’s own Tony Dunst. The full tournament ran from April 27 to May 2, 2012, and Cunix took down 1st place at this one, collecting $400,600 in the process (or at least these are the advertised payouts; a lot of times, the players make deals with one another in advance, based upon their chip counts before the final table even starts).

This episode is a particularly entertaining one all around. Cunix is in one hand against Will “The Thrill” Failla and Shawn mentions having a terrible table image. Failla asks him if he’ll show his hand, but Cunix refuses. In another hand, with just bottom pair, he bluffs the dangerous Darren Elias off a 2 pair hand he’s holding – regarding this, Mike Sexton says he played that hand “with the precision of the OSU marching band.” On a much more somber note, during his interview, Cunix mentions having flipped his 4 wheeler just 3 weeks earlier, and is lucky to have just broken his collarbone – he can’t really lift one of his arms, but his kid, who was riding with him, emerged more or less unscathed.

X – Chuck Klosterman (book). In this essay collection, he has one piece titled 2 + 2 = 5 which is an amusing, mostly joking attempt at taking the whole “replacement level player” concept from baseball, and applying it to music. One of the steps involves rating various bands, in order to determine how important each member is. Here he applies a baseline score of 1.0, assigned to The Beatles, with everyone else playing off of that. Among the bands listed is Thomas Jefferson Slave Apartments, who come in at a .55 – which places them on equal footing with the likes of My Morning Jacket and Rancid. This has this them slightly ahead of Journey, slightly behind Sonic Youth. Not bad!