Though I’ve been saying for years that Henderson/Cooke is my favorite road in Columbus, owing mostly to its bizarre path and plentiful landscape changes, Olentangy River Road charts a pretty wacky trajectory itself. Sure, Riverside is probably the most picturesque drive in town. High and Broad are obviously the pivotal main arteries, with a number of other major avenues not far behind. But the more I think about Olentangy River Road, I begin to realize it’s not without its selling points, also, in all of these categories combined. And for me at least, a lot more personal history than it would appear at first glance, too.
Beginning on the south end at the intersection of Goodale, where it’s really just a renamed version of Twin Rivers, Olentangy at first just sleepily winds itself upward, block after block, ever so slightly curvy here and there yet mostly content to sit on 315’s left shoulder. Or make that kneecap, maybe, as it resides below that elevated highway, in the shadow of what I’m guessing (research hasn’t taken me this far yet) was sculpted as its successor, a much speedier north-south conduit across town.
But the first plot twist arrives just past Target and the AMC Lennox and all that, when the road sweeps a full 90 degrees to the left, appearing as though our compass is about to dramatically shift – and indeed, the path does point forward there, though this road is named Kinnear. As for Olentangy, it’s a brake slam here (both figuratively and usually what happens in real time) at the light in front of Champp’s, cutting a hard right and ducking under 315 now, to sit on that highway’s opposite shoulder, with the two routes not even visible to one another now.
After swinging out to the furthest distance separating these alternating options, they will gradually draw closer and closer once more, criss-crossing at near right angles one final time, near Riverside Hospital, in reverting to original form. And from here very little will change about this dynamic, although Olentangy’s landscape undergoes a gradual shift as it slowly bleeds into the often gorgeous countryside, north of Bethel. At Wilson Bridge Road, you are advised that upon crossing it, into this residential neighborhood, the road will change to Linworth E, although according to the post office and Mr. Google’s maps, this doesn’t actually happen for another block or so. And this would appear to be Olentangy’s coda at last, although some sort of primeval appendix remains, separated by road construction decades ago, another small strip clear on the other side of nearby 270, connecting Hard Road to….yes! route 315, which is at this point also known apparently as Olentangy Freeway.
And yet the plot thickens further still. At this juncture, Olentangy River Road and 315 become one and the same. For approximately a mile still further north, these are Columbus addresses, too, up until a house at 8419. From this point onward, we are officially in Powell, so it seems a good enough place to halt our travels. For the curious, however, these two names are conjoined until Olentangy and 315 both terminate into 23, in the countryside near Delaware.
But enough about these nerdy details. Let us now turn around and consider the finer points found along this route, reversing course and heading south:
7860: The Hills Market. This is probably my favorite grocery store in town – actually, you can safely remove the “probably” now that I think about it, considering that all the other locally owned greats have either given up the ghost or been bought out. It’s the kind of regional-promoting, specialty goods market which was all the rage in the early 2000s but is under siege of late. Whatever your inclination, though, they’ve got a great selection here, down to and including hot foods – I saw a supreme pizza posted on Instagram the other day, for example, that made me want to jump through my telephone. In case you’re confused, this is the Worthington location they mention on their website (referring to this as Worthington seems a bit of a stretch, but who am I to say). They do have a downtown spot as well, on Grant.
7800: Another Rusty Bucket restaurant. A Cameron Mitchell protegee, Gary Callicoat, opened the first of these in Dublin in 2002. The spot on Lane Avenue sprung into being a few years later, and this one as well. Now it seems they are on the brink of becoming a nationwide phenomenon. Their Belly Buster burger was always my favorite (egg over easy on top of a beef patty), though this is unfathomably no longer on the menu.
Prior to this, it was a pub/club called Hearth & Eagle.
7706: Sullivan Centre, which is apparently a liposuction clinic.
7647 to 7351: That weird little detached section I was referring to, connecting Hard to 315. Just a handful of homes dot that hill, lording over the road, and as far as I can tell only four of them have Olentangy River Road designations. An outfit called Eddie Pollina Band apparently considers one of these its base of operations.
7097: This is where the name and numbers resume, in a quiet little neighborhood far removed from the last entry. To get here, your fastest route would have been to turn right and climb that mountain which is Hard Road, hang a left on Linworth Rd, cross 270, and then hook another left on Linworth Rd E, into that sleepy neighborhood across from Bluffsview Elementary School. I’m always saying the ever changing street names in Charlotte, NC, for example, make no sense whatsoever, but this area is plenty nutty in its own right. Then again that’s half the fun.
After crossing Wilson Bridge Rd, southbound, the landscape will grow steadily prettier. At first you will have a bike path running parallel, to your left, and then the cars of 315 zipping along beyond the fence beside it. Though I see there are a couple business addresses listed through this stretch, it would appear that these are home based, as this is otherwise another mostly sleepy neighborhood, the streets and houses fanning outward up the the hill to your right.
South of 161, though, you will begin to encounter homes on both sides of the road, along with the occasional church or business, while at the same time this rolling terrain proves a lot more forested.
5811: The Timbrook Guesthouse. This is a sprawling bed & breakfast in a house built clear back in the late 1800s.
5800: Antrim Park. A beautiful 120 acre site which runs underneath route 315 and spreads out to an even greater degree on that side. The lake and Olentangy Greenway Trail are over there, in fact, across the highway. Back when living on campus and working at the Bethel Road Kroger, during my bicycling heyday, on a few occasions I rode the trail clear up here, then backtracked down Olentangy to Bethel. It feels like a secret passage, almost, crossing the city in this manner.
5067: Gas station at the corner of Bethel, signifying you have returned to civilization. I think this has been a BP outpost for eons.
↑ North Of Bethel Road
South Of Bethel Road ↓
5019: Gallo’s Tap Room, which faces Bethel but is located within the Olentangy Plaza strip mall complex. One of their signature food offerings is The Big Easy, a New Orleans style muffaletta – which means it features an especially tasty olive salad. They’ve been here since at least April 2006, possibly earlier.
4990: Anheuser-Busch Sports Park. Fittingly enough, the only occasions I ever came here, there was pretty much always beer involved. This one summer a few of us at Kroger got on a kick where we’d pick up a six pack or so after work, then head over here and take turns at the batting cages. Those not currently swinging at 80 MPH fastballs would catch their breath and a few quick chugs back at the car. It was better than moldering in some dim happy hour, anyway.
As you continue further south, with this massive park at your left, 315 continuing to buzz along above it, the funky looking houses, occasional business, or slightly outdated apartment complex are still mostly situated on steep inclines to your right. It’s pretty obvious how and why they originally picked this patch of smooth, low ground for this pair of major north-south roads. Again during my bicycling days, this intersecting road called Jasonway seemed way too coincidental to ignore, and it did indeed prove a bit of a shortcut during these constant Summit-to-Bethel jaunts, although typically the traffic flow and hill situation made it a better option for the return trip.
Up ahead, Henderson Road crosses and bottoms out, the vortex of a not exactly modern configuration which makes for some gnarly rush hour pileups. This is actually one of the few longstanding headaches an otherwise progressive city has not managed to address, as thus far voters have shot down a proposed Bethel-Morse connector countless times. As someone who actually made this specific commute for months (Henderson-High-Morse) and major fan of the bike trail and parks, I understand both sides of the debate. But have to admit I really don’t see how “green” it is to fog up the region with idling motors in the name of saving a little park space.
Concerning Olentangy River Road, little changes as we head further south along this corridor. A caged in bike path does cross overhead, spanning the river, 315, and Olentangy River Road, connecting the unseen trail beyond all that mess with this residential neighborhood known as The Knolls, rising above you to the west. I did attempt using this on exactly one occasion, but wouldn’t consider it worth the effort unless actually living back there in one of those deathly still houses.
4477 to 4149: It is along this stretch that you would encounter the next set of postal hijinks, this one in the form of a nearly hidden access road. The access, running parallel, is also Olentangy River Road somehow, presenting this unheard of phenomenon: side by side streets, separated by bushes and just a few feet apart, given the same name, with neither of them being of the one-way variety.
3814: Formerly where a plastic surgeon named Arthur G.H. Bing plied his wares, though it’s unclear to me whether this building even exists anymore. At any rate, neither the address nor the business does. I have to admit I find this stuff fascinating. Would have been located in between where the Gerlach Center to Senior Health and MaternOhio Clinical Associates currently are.
3773: Big Red’s Lodges. These guest facilities, though rustic looking and set off a slight distance from the street, are actually a piece of the massive OhioHealth hospital complex you will soon stumble upon.
Riverside Hospital
(3535 Olentangy River Rd.) A number assigned because they had to settle on just one, although this gleaming, mostly ocean blue and cloud white metropolis is as large as many a rural Ohio town. My step-daughter Maddie and daughter Emma were both born here, five years apart and under spookily similar circumstances: given the same due date (April 5), yet born many weeks premature, arriving March 8 and March 14, respectively. And yes, truth be known, in neither situation was I technically “with” baby’s mama at the time. They are a pleasant reminder, as is the very physical appearance of this center itself, that not all is doom and gloom inside a hospital. Helpful to remember at times because at the other end of the journey, this is where my grandpa Allie died, too, and therefore the last place I ever saw him breathing.
After passing Broadway and dipping underneath 315, you begin to enter a region which is more or less considered the outer reaches of campus. The first large swath of Union Cemetery, which is divided into two huge chunks diagonally opposed from one another, will appear on your right, this long road’s first genuine strip of commerce on your left.
3370: Roosters wing joint. There is apparently no apostrophe in the name, which I never realized before. This particular outpost of the steadily expanding chain has been in place since at least the late 90s. As their catchphrase states, this is a really laid-back atmosphere to grab a beer and some decent sports pub grub. Maybe I will look like an idiot someday and learn that this comes out of a giant, commercially available tub, but whatever the origin, their blue cheese dressing is the best I’ve ever had.
3360: Kohl’s store tucked back way behind it, barely even visible from the road. I can’t remember the previous tenant but believe it might have been Burlington Coat Factory.
3349: Union Cemetery, regardless of which half you’re talking about. The most famous figures buried here are all sports related. Woody Hayes, a veritable legend in these parts, is in the west cemetery, while Stephanie Spielman (wife of former OSU, Cleveland Browns, and Columbus Destroyers football star Chris, though she’s actually more well known as a cancer awareness spokesperson) is at rest in the east cemetery. There’s a Paul Hornung here, too, although he isn’t the Green Bay Packers great, rather the Columbus Dispatch sports writer who once covered 326 Buckeye games in a row.
3230: The Cowboy! A really popular and quite tasty Mexican restaurant, El Vaquero, is an institution at this point. About fifteen years ago a bunch of us met here to kick off an “old friends reunion” type night on the town…which is sadly the last time I’ve seen some of those people, and also my final visit to this establishment. Alive named them the best Mexican place in town, 2000 (although there may have been other years, too), alongside their Riverside Drive location. Flying clowns and other oddball decorations fill the room. Homemade chips.
3165: The local NBC television station has called this home for years.
3045:
Currently a Holiday Inn Express & Suites. However in a former life it was Euphoria Fitness & Massage Therapy (as of October ‘01, not sure for how long thereafter.) On Wednesdays they offered mixed level Pilates mat class, a 6 week course for strengthening the lower back and abdominals. Also prenatal/beginner yoga classes (males are also welcome) through October, another 6 weeker. So this building was then knocked down at some point and the current hotel erected.
3025: Once the Parke University Hotel and the Damon’s restaurant attached to it, now a Denny’s. The building housing it and a few other businesses was newly built for the occasion.
2981: At the corner of Harley and Olentangy, you will now find the University Village apartments’ Resident Life Center. It’s a really slick looking, modern building with fitness facility, computer lab, a rec room with wide screen television and billiards, et cetera. They even offer a shuttle service running an extensive loop. The apartments themselves, a campus rite of passage of sorts which has been in place since the late 50s, dots the landscape behind it, along Harley.
The Damon’s where I used to work was of course located right on this very plot of land. It’s always peculiar to think about conversations you had, or events which transpired, in buildings that no longer exist. Almost as though you’re turning into a ghost while still alive. This experience is even odder if occurring on upper floors, above ground level – or, like here, in the basement. Even if the only time any of us ever ventured into the basement, apart from possibly retrieving kegs, was to mix drinks for ourselves in the otherwise abandoned break room.
The Parke was demolished first, which made for a strange sight, the handful of years that Damon’s continued to limp along. It was this outdated vaguely Tudor looking building in front of a barren field. You kind of knew at a glance that it wasn’t going to be long for this world. Their best bet would have been a brand new facility, and that never happened.
“The Town” and The City
The City is a rather dumb/semi-obnoxious name given to this huge and relatively new apartment complex. Seeing that sign always reminds me of Jack Kerouac’s first novel, and also that Interpol song where they insist they are not going to the town, but rather the city. Perhaps this was used in promotional materials, advertisting available units, or maybe they even play it on a loop in the lobby. And then give you a special edition of The Town and The City as a welcoming gift when you sign the lease.
Well, anyway, The City now sits where the strip mall known as University City Center once did. Those buildings have all been knocked down.
The standalone businesses in front survive, however, which I guess we may as well refer to as “The Town.” The bank (2941 – it’s a PNC now but wasn’t always), McDonald’s (2865) and Sunoco (2825) have all been in place since at least the tail end of the 20th century, if not longer.
A Raising Cane’s location (2823) is the most recent addition, which sprung into existence somewhat near the end of University City Center’s time on this earth. During our most recent visit there, we brought Erin’s parents, who’d never had Cane’s before and agreed it was the best chicken they’d ever eaten in their lives. Then Erin accidentally left her cell phone there, and we were halfway to Bucyrus for a wedding before realizing it. Fortunately her cousins were still in the area and were able to retrieve it for us.
2781: Currently empty, but used to be Across The Field. Inside what once was a quaint little church, you would have found – what else? – a shop dedicated to selling Buckeye apparel.
2540: Chemical Abstracts Service – would occasionally host concerts on their lawn, like Picnic at the Pops events that might also include fireworks afterwards.
2355: Jack Nicklaus Museum. Honoring possibly the most famous athlete ever to hail from this fine city, and certainly the greatest golfer. This is one of these places I keep meaning to check out but, you know, haven’t.
It is here in our travels that we encounter Lane Avenue. The Schottenstein Center is impossible to miss on the northwest corner, though technically it sits neither on Olentangy nor on Lane. The impressive (particularly if viewed at night) and quite modern suspension bridge, meanwhile, would lead you east, over the river and into the heart of Ohio State University.
2200: Longaberger Alumni House
↑ North Of Lane Avenue
click on arrows to turn on Lane Avenue.
South Of Lane Avenue ↓
Continuing down Olentangy south of Lane, with the impossible to miss Horseshoe to the east, the river and the monolithic round white bookends of Morrill and Lincoln Towers, you will pass a number of other campus buildings, dip under Woody Hayes Drive and a foot bridge as well. Here the scenery is often beautiful – if you are into the way a major university might look, that is, fused like an implant with the heart of its city. Just beyond the 315 underpass, the road will appear to reach its terminus at Kinnear, in front of the Lennox Town Center. But no, turning left at the light here will continue our Olentangy jaunt.
1827: The Capital Grille. Champps was here for an eternity, and although that seems like exactly the sort of restaurant which would have bit the dust in about 2004, and it lived on somehow into the early-mid 2020s. My friends Dan Bandman and Dave Kemp both worked here way back in the late 90s. I once brought my girl Jamie here on a date, but she and I were both feeling not so fresh following this dinner – though unable to speak for her, these tummy troubles dissuaded me from ever returning. In early 1998 they added a karaoke night on Wednesday which stole a decent chunk of Woody’s clientele for the same.
1803: Currently a Bravo Cucina Italiana, though I haven’t drifted through these doors since it was a Don Pablo’s.
Behind these two, in the main building of Lennox Town Center, it’s somewhat reassuring to see that Staples, Barnes & Noble, Old Navy and Target all continue to soldier on across the years. I’m not a sentimentalist per se, nor someone who believes your entire metropolis should be populated with nothing but trendy local merchants. The ideal situation closely matches reality, at least as that pertains to Columbus right now – sometimes ancient pieces of architecture need to go bye-bye, and sometimes even national franchises feel like a comfy pair of shoes.
For an example of what I mean, one need look no further than across the street, to the tiny strip of land currently hosting a Starbucks (1570) and a couple other operations. Formerly this impossibly small parcel, which looks as though it may as well sit on 315, was the home of a decrepit strip club and I’m not sure what else. When the entire structure burned to the ground, there weren’t many lamenting the loss of this eyesore.
1791: Core Life Eatery Opened 6/19/18. Before that it was a Johnny Rockets, before that a Cup O’ Joe. Cup O’ Joe had 3 locations in town circa 2000, the year where they were named as “best desserts” in town by Alive. Carnegie Deli Chocolate Truffle Torte is one of their signature offerings – chocolate, chocolate, and more chocolate.
1739:
Barnes & Noble has been here for a relative eternity. Peering backwards a bit, as of Oct ‘01 they had Great Books Discussion Group at 7pm every third Monday. Every third Tuesday, a Science Fiction Book Group, 7:30pm. Children’s Storytime at 11am on Thursdays. Kids Storytime (for 6-12 year olds) at 1pm on Saturdays.
1445: Varsity Inn. I recently booked a room here and found it perfectly acceptable, despite being the cheapest place around. They’ve got this nifty “drive thru check-in” type carport which I’ve never seen anywhere else. The rooms were acceptably clean, had cable, et cetera, although I seriously believe there was dried blood on the bathroom door frame. Also the fridge made some weird ticking sound that sounded like a toaster oven, nonstop all night. I think I even had dreams about a toaster oven. But don’t let this deter you from rooming here – my solution to that problem was a Hounddog’s Pizza and about three tall cans of Seventh Son lager.
1421:
Former site of Buckeye Hall Of Fame Cafe. The team of heavyweights which brought you the Olentangy location of Damon’s, The Place For Ribs was behind this enterprise as well. They promised us a brand new building yet erected this months later instead. It looks like this restaurant/arcade was in business from 1997 to 2009, and while I wouldn’t necessarily classify an eatery which lasted 12 years as a “dud” (at least not without access to their financial records), it feels a bit short, especially when considering the lofty pronouncements and aspirations connected to it.
Also whether this is a typo or something, I’ve seen at least one 2001 print piece where they were referred to simply as “Fame Cafe.” So this may have been a brief effort to rebrand even in the middle of their run. And lending credence to this theory is that at this time, they were hosting live theater-type shows such as Four Suspects At A Funeral, which ran every second Wednesday during that era. I gather this experiment was not a resounding success, however.
Before this, it was the Jai Lai, Woody Hayes’s favorite restaurant in town. Jai Lai Restaurant was celebrating its 50th year in 1982. For Easter Sunday of that year, they were offering three options for the main course, at $8.75 each: roast turkey, baked ham, or leg of lamb. Or, if I’m reading this right, you could add the buffet for only 20 cents more, which offered everything “from soup to nuts,” but only in their lower level for groups of six or more. No word on whether Woody Hayes helicoptered over here to take advantage of this deal, however.
In more recent times, the entire structure was destroyed and replaced – a very impressive, modern looking SpringHill Suites by Marriott sits here now.
1299: Cap City Fine Diner And Bar. They use to feature “jazz & lobster” every Sunday but discontinued that promo quite some time ago. The atmosphere here is interesting in that it feels as though they’re shooting for a high end rustic vibe – kind of like if Bob Evans decided to skew a little more upper class. So I would say it’s really not the least bit stuffy despite that “fine diner” business in the name. My former downstairs neighbor Stephanie was a waitress here and insisted salmon burgers were their greatest offering. Erin says that this place has the best tomato soup she’s ever eaten.
1245: Columbus Fish Market. Voted best seafood restaurant in town by Columbus Alive in 2000. Another Cameron Mitchell offering, which opened in 1998. A gigantic metal fish hangs above the entrance. Frequently rotating menu, known for their clam chowder.
1177: was a club called Libertys, in the late 1990s/early 2000s. Originally a restaurant and bar, but they decided to scrap that concept in December of ’99 and become a nightclub instead, with the same name. This place was inexplicably popular for a little while, despite a really bland motif.
